Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T14:33:00.001-05:00

Just a quick note to wish everyone a happy, prosperous, wonderful New Year!

Jack

I'm in Love

2011-12-14T15:15:00.002-05:00

[Image: http://www.paintinghere.com/UploadPic/Garmash/big/Dreaming%20of%20Love.jpg]

For years I struggled to find meaning in meaningless relationships. There were times when I was so numb inside that sleeping with as many women as possible was my only reason for living. At my worst, I surrendered myself to something much, much worse: utter loneliness. It was at those times that I prayed for someone, anyone to sleep in my bed. Just as long as I didn’t have to spend another night alone.

But I always longed for simple love.

And then, suddenly, I found it.

ROMANTIC CLICHÉ

I was walking down the street about a year ago when I saw Her. She was out shopping for Christmas presents with her mom and her sister. As soon as our eyes met my heart rate shot up uncontrollably and I actually had to catch my breath. I had become a romantic cliché.

At that point I really had no choice but to approach her AND her family. Definitely NOT my usual MO. I introduced myself and engaged in some banal banter with all three of them. Her mother was curious. Her sister hated me instantly. I didn’t care, so long as I was able to have Her near me.

In the end, I snagged an email address. After a week of emails and phone calls back and forth I earned my first date.

BUT ARE YOU A GOODMAN?

I still remember how nervous I was that night. I was more than nervous. I was terrified. But it turned out to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime conversations. We talked about family and friends, about our careers, and our life goals.

About half-way through dinner the conversation turned to simplicity. And I couldn’t control myself any longer. I had to tell her EVERYTHING.

I told her about being materialistic. About being a selfish asshole. And, of course, about trying to find meaning in empty loneliness.

She listened intently, interrupting me only to ask a relevant question or two.

“But are you a good man?” she asked eventually. I told her I was. She then kissed me. Deeply.

I was reborn that night. Apparently, redemption is attained through the grace of a good woman. Even for a wretch like me.

EVOCATIVE DREAM

It has been a year since that first date. And my love for Her has deepened to a point where sometimes I don’t even know where I start and she begins.

I love this woman because she was made for me. And I was made for her.

She is my sun. My spring. My biking simplicity. When she stands beside me in the rain I smile. And when I kiss her lips it always feels like the beginning of the road once more.

There has never been a sweeter wine, nor a more evocative dream, than her lips on mine.

I am in love.

I'm Back

2011-12-07T15:03:00.001-05:00

Hello everyone!

Going to make this short. Just wanted to say thank you for all you support this past year. I am still amazed at the amount of emails, calls and text that I still get even though this blog has been inactive for a while.

I’m actually planning to get back to blogging with a vengeance real soon. Be prepared for a shift in focus. I have a feeling AVS will be evolving, just as I have been evolving. That’s the way it should be.

Take care everyone,

Jack

Dear Mom: GOODBYE

2011-01-26T20:49:00.003-05:00

[image:dangerouscreation.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Tranquility2.jpg]

I had a beautifully disturbing realization this past week: I couldn’t remember the last time I talked to my mother. I really couldn’t. This realization was even more delicious because I was pretty sure that I hadn’t even THOUGHT about her for what seemed like several months. Not for a single second.

And why should I? Over the years this woman has been emotionally manipulative. She has hurled insults. She has literally THROWN things at people. She has belittled everyone that ever cared about her. And she has done it with an insatiable, uncontrolled rage. But I guess regular readers already know that.

LET ME BE CLEAR
Let me be clear about this. My mother is not a two-dimensional monster. I understand and respect the reasons why she acts the way she does. In fact, I actually love and admire her greatly. You guys have no idea what she has been through. She is one of the most courageous and intelligent people I know.

But I’ve come to the conclusion that I just don’t care anymore. I really don’t. I’m tired of feeling sorry for someone who is often only interested in making me miserable. I’m over trying to reach out to a person who is so emotionally damaged that they are incapable of sharing love. I’m sick of being yelled at. I’m done being the adult.

GOODBYE
I’ve decided to simplify my life once again. I’m basically not talking to my mother again. Ever.

I can’t express how happy this makes me feel. The happiness is reinforced by knowing that I am not doing this out of some sort of hurtful need to spite the woman who gave birth to me. I am simply doing something that will bring peace and tranquility to my life.

And yes, I’m aware that there are some practical impediments to this decision (family gatherings, calls initiated by her, etc…) but believe me, I’ve thought about them and they can all be overcome.

DISTANCE CAN BRING YOU PEACE
The bottom line is that sometimes distance may be your only option. If you are fortunate, you may be able to use that distance to find simple, peaceful understanding. Not only for yourself, but for those you love.

Tonight I feel completely free.

Blogging Redux

2011-01-17T20:16:00.002-05:00

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. I still get tons of emails from people who want to know why I stopped writing. Many are long-time readers who love the blog and want to read more. Some are clearly new to the blog and are just curious about a specific post or topic. And, of course, there are those “other” readers who still wish to kill me or who are otherwise happy that my “sexist,” “cocky” (horrible pun definitely intended), “hateful” vitriol is out of the public eye.

THE TRUTH IS
The truth is that since mid-2010 I haven’t really felt a need to write on the blog. It isn’t that nothing of consequence has happened since my last post. In fact, some incredible things happened during the last six months or so. It’s just that I don’t run my life by internet. I never did. Long-time readers know that the focus of this blog was never to provide commentary re voluntary simplicity. This blog was never conceived as some sort of simplicity newsletter.

I started this blog to try to understand the source of overwhelming unhappiness. Somewhat surprisingly, the blog was actually instrumental in allowing me to chart a course towards a certain amount of healing and genuine understanding. But the blog itself was never the answer. It was merely a tool I used in the middle of a tempest. And it was a tool I stopped using once I got to shore.

BLOGGING REDUX
Today, for the first time in a long time, I feel like blogging. Let’s see how long that lasts.

Falling Off a Cliff

2010-07-26T09:00:00.003-04:00

[image: http://images.easyart.com/i/prints/rw/lg/3/0/David-Fokos-Shark-Tooth-Cliff-30503.jpg]

Well, I’m glad that’s over.

After nearly 2 years of nearly uninterrupted exhilaration, spiritual awakening and ongoing personal transformation I suddenly fell off a cliff. Big time.

WHY?
I’m not going to lie. The past couple of months have been difficult. But I’m here to tell you that all of that is behind me. And I think for good.

There are probably a dozen reasons why this happened. Here are just some of the big ones:

1. The Road Was Postponed. I had to postpone my South American trip for any number of reasons. This will probably be the subject of a future post but let’s just say that the gradual realization that I would not be getting back on the road was, somehow, too much to bare.

2. I Hit a Wall. I probably hit a wall in terms of personal development. There is only so much change you can make over a period of time. I was probably too demanding with myself. Too focused on getting to the “change” without truly appreciating the value and beauty that lies in the “journey towards change.”

3. Love. After several years doing my best to avoid a serious relationship (and reaping the exciting, yet ephemeral joys of being single) I was suddenly open to love. Real, substantial, meaningful, scary love. It didn’t take me long to realize that I was out of my element. In the end, I was undone by fear of commitment and my own insecurities. More on this later.

4. Habit. When all is uncertain, when frustration reigns, when everything that is good for you feels like hard work you embrace what you’ve known for years. In my case that means embracing my inner asshole.

There is more work to be done on the personal development front. I know that. What has changed is that I am no longer tied to some artificial schedule. My to-do lists still reign supreme but they exist in the context of a much more holistic process of “change.”

THANK YOU
I want to take this opportunity to thank those of you who have sent emails, texts and/or otherwise reached out over the past couple of months. All that stuff helped. Believe me.

And to those in the press who have been trying to reach me, all I can say is that I am fine and that I still prefer to express myself via the blog. Not looking for publicity. Not interested in fame. I just want to continue doing what I have been doing over the past two years: challenging myself to be a better person with simple, brutal honestly.

Thank you everyone,

Jack

Taking Stock

2010-06-02T12:14:00.005-04:00

[photo: http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45246000/jpg/_45246118_contemplate466.jpg]

Well, I’ve hit a wall. I can’t continue on this path. That much is clear. Time to try something new.

And by “new” I’m referring to a variation on the “time out” I did recently. The focus is simple: regain focus. Hopefully, this will allow me the time to examine where I am, why I am where I am, and, ultimately, how I can move forward again.

This “time out” involves the following over the next 30 days:

*Heading out with friends once a week only. Meeting up with large groups of people, all very much interested in partying and debauchery, is at the core of this current downward spiral. The idea is to limit these activities as a precursor to finding my way back to a healthier Jack.

And no, I don’t think going cold turkey on this would do much good. I would rather have access to people I trust and care about once a week than to cut off contact completely. At least I should get the chance to evaluate whether my current friendships are helping or hindering my progress.

*Limiting drinking to the once-a-week get-togethers. I’ve noticed that drinking is clearly exacerbating things whenever I am out with people. Better to limit this as well.

And no, I don’t think I have a drinking problem. I’ve cut off drinking quite a bit over the past couple of years. Up till this past month my MO was clear: give me 2 glasses of Cabernet or 3 bottles of Sam Adams and I’ll be good to go for the night. Twice a month. At most. The problem is the combination of alcohol with my current state of mind. Need to reevaluate this as things progress.

*Limiting sexual activity, if any, to the days I meet up with friends. I think this is self-explanatory.

*Taking the time to contemplate my situation. The idea is to have enough time to really understand why I am where I am. I need to interrogate myself in a serious and honest way. There is clearly a disconnect between my actions and the person I want to be. I just have to figure out how to identify the source of that disconnect and chart a path towards safety.

I’m fully aware that there is no guarantee that this “time out” will work. But hey, I’ve learned that in life nothing is guaranteed. I’m going to give this a shot because deep down, I still believe in myself. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t.

And if it doesn’t work, well, as suggested in comments to my previous post, there are other alternatives to consider.

Wish me luck.

Jack

I'm Out of Control

2010-05-26T19:13:00.002-04:00

[image: http://lexandria.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/frustrated-753296.jpg]

I’m totally out of control.

Those of you who follow me via Facebook probably already know what’s been going on:

-The sex has been wild. Unpredictable. Insane. Empty.
-Yoga and meditation have been tossed aside.
-Any urge to continue my internal/emotional development has evaporated.

The bottom line: I’ve relapsed in a major way. Simplicity has been replaced by a ferocious urge to feed my ego, to fuck ad nauseam and to generally act like a complete asshole.

I don’t know what to do.

I'm Now on Skype

2010-05-07T18:32:00.002-04:00

That’s right, I’m now on Skype.

Not sure whether this will eventually turn out to be counterproductive in terms of my simplicity goals but I’m willing to give it a try. The bottom line is that I’m still drowning in emails requesting advice, offering speaking engagements, interviews etc...I’m hoping this can serve to answer more of your questions, even as I get to interact and learn from as many of you as possible.

If you ever want to reach out feel free to send me an email(radicalsimplicity@gmail.com) with the following information:

1.your full name on Facebook;
2.times during the week when you can chat freely;
3.topics you want to discuss.

For security reasons I will contact you via Facebook first so we can set up a time to Skype. Note that depending on demand and availability I might not be able to respond right away.

Have a great weekend everyone,

Jack

I'm Getting a Vasectomy

2010-05-05T16:19:00.002-04:00

[image:http://retro.xhtmled.com/miscellaneous/media/images/bargain_vasectomy_clinic.jpg]
Well, it's settled. I'm getting cut. I'm doing the old 'snip, snip'. My little swimmers will soon be no more.

I'm getting a vasectomy.

DIFFICULT DECISION

I have to admit that the decision was harder than I thought it would be. And I'm not even referring to the realities of the medical procedure.

When I first considered this option I didn't really see a coherent argument against it. None of the arguments I came across (“what if you find a person you love who wants kids;” “what if you change your mind;” “not having kids is selfish;” etc...) were really all that persuasive given my motives, my preferences and my own internal ethics.

And then something happened. I'm not sure how I can even describe it. Let's just say that I suddenly felt a twinge of existential guilt. It was almost as if the universe itself could somehow get pissed if I voluntarily eschewed a fundamental imperative shared by all living things. As much as I tried to shake it off I couldn't help but think that by getting a vasectomy I would be committing a crime against nature itself.

And then, just as suddenly, I found a solution to my dilemma that made sense to me. Why not make a bargain with the universe for the right to get a vasectomy? Surely I could offer the universe something more valuable than the chance to nurture a brood of future bike-riding, nature-loving, list-focused, sex-crazed Jacks.

JACK'S BARGAIN WITH THE UNIVERSE

Dear Universe,

I'm sure you know by now that I'm all about getting a vasectomy. Before you say anything, you should know that I've always been a very big fan and I really, really don't want to piss you off. That is why I want to make you this proposal:

let me have my vasectomy and, in exchange, I commit to spending a certain amount of time and energy every year having a direct, positive impact on children's issues. I'm also going to allocate a certain amount of money in my personal budget to help children in some way.

Now, I know I haven't quite figured out how this is going to work, but I want you to know that I am committed to this.

So, what do you think? FYI, I might make an appointment sometime next week so let me know ASAP.

Take care,

Jack

Garden Simplicity

2010-04-17T13:13:00.002-04:00

I don’t want to get all Martha Stewart on you guys, but I’m actually getting attached to the garden in my building. There is something about the color of the flowers and the texture of the leaves that instills in me an incredible amount of peace. It’s during these times that I regret not having a permanent place of my own where I could have my own personal garden.

I know next to nothing about gardening. The truth is that every plant I have ever had has suffered a slow, painful death under my care. There was the small potted plant on my desk in college that ended up in the garbage after 3 weeks. Another 3-4 plants died mysteriously when my folks left the country and left me in charge. And let’s not even get into the time I tried to grow spices in my apartment in NYC.
I never really understood the roots of my plant murder spree. Maybe I just wasn’t all that conscientious about watering them properly. Or maybe the cause is deeper. Maybe my plants died because I never really understood them.

After spending weeks walking by this garden I’ve noticed things that, while obvious to those who love plants and flowers, came as an absolute shock to me: plants are living, breathing, miracles of nature. Their growth and shape is determined by the contours of their surroundings. They react to sunlight, cold, warmth and rain. You can casually spot a flower bud in the morning and come home to see a beautiful fully-grown flower. Plants MOVE during the day.

Plants are ALIVE.

Reflections (7): I Am a Buddhist

2010-04-02T16:06:00.010-04:00

[photo: http://rlv.zcache.com/thank_god_im_a_buddhist_tshirt-p235280552170435656cpu4_400.jpg]

Good Friday feels weird this year.

In years past, making an effort to embrace my Catholic faith during Holy Week was, more often than not, just sheer and utter drudgery. To be sure, there were times when I sincerely felt as if I could literally touch the purity and sanctity of my faith. But, for the most part, the annual pilgrimage to confess before Good Friday, the requisite attendance at mass and the focus on the pain and suffering of Jesus felt rather inauthentic. Empty even.

And then everything in my life changed. Suddenly, the ground below my feet was more solid. For the first time I knew who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I would never be again.

I also began to read. Passively at first. Later, I was gripped by a furious urge to understand that surprised even me. Eventually, it took embracing something outside of Catholicism for me to come to terms with my Catholic faith.

I AM A BUDDHIST

I am a Buddhist.

I write these words with a great deal of serenity and satisfaction. This glorious, ancient practice has helped to bring clarity to my heart in ways that I still cannot comprehend. For me, it is but the logical progression of a person who has embraced the tenants of an ephemeral, yet, ever-powerful movement called Voluntary Simplicity.

If Voluntary Simplicity is my destination, Buddhism is my roadmap.

If Voluntary Simplicity is the cool, misty waters of the Pacific Ocean,

Buddhism is my Surly Long-Haul Trucker:

COMING TO TERMS
Let me be clear. While I have embraced the practice of Buddhism, I am still Catholic. Or, at least, as Catholic as the Church says I am. I have yet to find anything inside myself that compels me to abandon my faith. Catholicism, for all its faults and contradictions, is, and always will be, the great enigma of my spiritual life.

What Buddhism has taught me is that I don’t ever have to completely resolve this enigma. I can immerse myself in the waters of my faith, so long as I embrace the path laid out by my heart.

And it is from this path that I write these words today.

[Reflections introductory post]

Virtual Meditation Session

2010-03-21T12:46:00.003-04:00

Starting Virtual Meditation Session in 5 minutes.

1:34 PM Eastern

Just finished meditating. As always, the experience is immediate and personal. This time, though, there was an element of something else. I was not only connecting to a gathering of people who had long since finished meditating. I was also, in some unique way, connecting to people elsewhere who were united in a common purpose.

A truly beautiful experience. Thanks everyone.

Jack

DETAILS: Virtual Meditation Session This Sunday

2010-03-19T20:49:00.005-04:00

[Photo: http://www.domore.com.au/assets/images/Guided%20Meditation%20Bondi.jpg]

As mentioned in a previous post, Adventures in Volutary Simplicity is organizing a “virtual” meditation session this coming Sunday at 1:00pm Eastern US (5:00pm GMT). The session will consist of listening to a guided meditation session conducted by Tara Branch at the Insight Meditation Community of Washington DC on December 9, 2009. You can access the session HERE.

While you guys can post comments on the blog post I will publish at the start of the session, you can always post live comments on Facebook before, during and after the session.

I'm getting really excited about this. :) I've received tons of emails from all over the world expressing interest in the project. This stuff always blows me away...I still can't quite get over how powerful this blog has become and how committed you guys are.

Whether you have pledged to participate or are just a curious bystander, I hope you all will join us for 30 minutes of relaxation and collective mindfulness.

See you all on Sunday.

Jack

Virtual Meditation Session This Sunday

2010-03-17T21:00:00.003-04:00

[http://bluemooncandles.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/meditation-leaf.jpg]

Those of you who are regular readers know that I've come to embrace meditation. It is something that has absolutely changed my life. I feel so strongly about the benefits of meditation that I actually have no shame in recommending it to anyone and everyone willing to try it.

That's why I will be organizing a virtual meditation session this coming weekend on this blog. It will probably involve listening to one of Tara Branch's guided meditation podcasts off the Insight Meditation Community website at a set time this coming Sunday. Everyone is welcome to parcipate, regardless of experience level. Those who follow a different meditation tradition, or who prefer to meditate on their own would also be welcome. The point would be to “gather” together, at the same time, in the same “space,” in order to embrace peace, tranquility, and serenity. Just imagine: dozens, hundreds, even thousands of people from all over the world, meditating as one.

I'm also thinking of setting up an anonymous webcam with a link to the site. I would be grateful if any techies out there can recommend a user-friendly program that I can use to link to the blog.

Take care everyone,

Jack

On Being Lonely

2010-03-11T22:59:00.003-05:00

Well, so much for taking a break from getting laid. After some time away from meaningless sexual escapades I've been venturing back into the confusing world of dating, one night stands, and emotional turmoil.

It hasn't been easy. I think for the first time in a long time I am absolutely prepared to give a piece of myself to another person. And maybe that's the reason I have found things so difficult this time. Suddenly, physical beauty, availability, and the willingness of a woman to pretty much do anything I want is no longer enough. Suddenly, I want HER. I want the person I see inside to be mine. Or maybe what I really want is for the person inside of me to be hers.

Either way, I honestly, truly, sincerely have no idea what I'm doing at the moment. One minute I fall hard for someone with a beautiful smile, only to retreat emotionally after making love. Half the time I am convinced the person I am caressing as they sleep will be unfaithful to me. The other half I spend trying to convince myself that what I really need is to get laid with just about anyone else.

What a mess.

The truth is that after years of doing my best to avoid being in a truly serious relationship I've come to realize that I am profoundly alone. And not in the I'm-at-home-on-a-Friday-night-and-noone-wants-anything-to-do-with-me-sort of loneliness. No. It's more of an existential loneliness, one that constantly laments not being able to share the essence of a new-found life with another like-minded soul.

Maybe this is just part of the transition. Maybe I'm just feeling my way through a dark room for a bit...until I find the light switch.

I hope so. Wish me luck.

State of the Blog: Back from Sabbatical

2010-03-02T20:13:00.002-05:00

[Image:freshfocus.info/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/sabbatical-web.jpg]

Every once in a while it just makes sense to disconnect from everything. I tend to do it when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Or when I'm contemplating significant life changes and need the time and space to think and focus. And, sometimes, it's a little bit of both.

All I can say is that I'm no longer overwhelmed and that I found the time and space to think things through. It's good to be back.

I Love the Law Again

2010-02-16T12:47:00.004-05:00

[http://businesslaw.newark.rutgers.edu/images/BooksandGavelA.jpg]

I had a pretty strange experience yesterday. As a favor to a friend I found myself in a conference room surrounded by a bunch of business guys eager to get legal advice on a number of corporate matters. My adrenaline started pumping as the trickle of legal concepts and strategies I presented became a torrent. I found myself excited, indeed intoxicated, by the magnificent edifice that is the law. And you know what? I enjoyed it.

Or did I? Maybe I've become so averse to opening any door that could let in the Jack of old that what I felt was not joy but relief. The bottom line is that, for the first time in a long time, I found myself enveloped in the exciting machinations of corporate law without all the baggage I felt back in the day. There are several reasons why this happened. It probably helped that the business guys in question run a company that isn't stuffy and that is ethically honest. It's also not lost on me that the progress I have made over the past several years has outfitted me with an impenetrable shield against all the BS I faced every day back at my old law firm.

But probably the most important reason is that I wasn't providing advice as a Big Law attorney. And I think that's why I might have felt relief during the meeting. I had always believed that my problem with Big Law was not Big Law itself but the tendendy of Big Law to encourage a lifestyle that was antithetical to my core beliefs. Suddenly, this belief was transformed into fact and I was free to love the law again, without having to reprise my role as an egocentric asshole lawyer.

Let me be very clear: I have ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO INTENTION of going back to corporate law. That being said, I consider yesterday's realization an unexpected gift.

I'm happy

2010-02-14T01:53:00.002-05:00

I'm happy right this very second. These moments are precious. I will always be grateful for moments like these.

Jack

Marijuana Simplicity

2010-02-05T16:44:00.005-05:00

[image: http://www.tampabaycriminaldefenselawyerblog.com/Marijuana-Poster.jpg]

I don't think I'd be exaggerating if I were to admit that I was one of the biggest potheads in college. It's true. I had tried weed on and off back in high school but it wasn't until my crazy, sex/beer-filled freshman year that I fell in love with the pure, mellow joys of marijuana

My routine at the time was pretty simple: for each lecture/seminar I would only attend the very first class in order to pick up the syllabus and course schedule, and thereafter only show up for quizzes, midterms, and finals. Aside from a massive 2-week cramming session at the end of each semester, I had virtually the entire academic year to hang out with buddies, be with my girfriend(s?) and, or course, smoke some bud.

I only had one rule: I could smoke as much as I wanted so long as I got As in all my classes. (The irony is that the more I smoked, the easier it was to get those As. Go figure.)

And then came law school and the sudden realization that I was entering a profession with legit rules of ethics and professional responsibility. By that point, weed had lost its luster. Inhaling smoke, of any kind, seemed like an unbelievably stupid thing to do. The spiritual component that had originally drawn me to marijuana had long since been replaced by an urge to party. Suddenly, it made sense to hang up my bong.

POSTSCRIPT
Years later, bathed in the light of my trusty laptop, I take a long, smooth drag from a makeshift bong made from an aluminum can. The taste is still sweet. I just want to feel pure and mellow one last time.

Reflections (6): On Being a Guy

2010-01-31T11:07:00.012-05:00

Walking by a beauty salon the other day I stopped dead in my tracks. Turns out it was some sort of day spa for dudes. For a fee of over $100 a guy can enjoy a pedicure, a manicure, a lucious mud bath and complementary bath oils and soaps. Full-body massages are extra.

What. The. Fuck?

I don't know about you, but after spending almost three months “showering” in McDonalds' bathrooms all of this metrosexual bullshit pisses me off. I understand that Simple Living can mean different things for different people, but I can't help but feel sad at the current state of heterosexual guydom.

In the great tradition of Edward R. Murrow here's my own This I Believe short essay:

THIS I BELIEVE

I believe in Moday Night Football, pickup basketball and sweaty gyms.

I believe in shaving only when I feel like it.

I believe in making love to beautiful women.

I believe in drinking good beer and embracing occasional hangovers.

I believe in never shaving my chest.

I believe men can be considerate, loving, open and honest with their partners without turning into total pussies.

I believe half-naked chicks riding mechanical bulls are hot. Yeah, I said it. Again.

I believe I would rather get punched in my balls than watch The Notebook.

This I believe.

[Reflections Introductory Post]

GUEST POST: An Alcoholic's Perspective

2010-01-25T14:08:00.004-05:00

[image:http://www.key-alcoholism-info.com/young-man-in-pain-about-his-alcoholic-life.jpg]

The following is a Guest Post written by my friend R, the subject of a prior post on alcoholism. I think it speaks for itself.

An Alcoholic's Perspective

I am R.

Jack invited me to read and contribute to this article a few days ago. When I finally read it, I was extremely touched and also awakened. I guess the main message I would like to communicate here is that a disease such as alcoholism--as with any other infliction--is extremely difficult to truly understand unless one experiences it first-hand. I know I'm a great person...as was mentioned by Jack, successful, traveled, educated, all of that. But I have this evil little devil sitting on my shoulder at all times. I hate this part of my life and wish there was a way to just hit the "off" switch. But through personal experience and extensive research, I've learned that there is no easy fix. It takes time, determination, support and constant adherence to daily goals.

To draw an analogy: it is like trying to convince yourself to not drink water...you get thirsty, then thirstier, then even worse...and you finally convince yourself that you need to drink water in order to survive. Well, granted, water is in fact necessary for survival, and alcohol is not, but in the mind of an alcoholic it is.

Another thing about this condition is that alcoholics often don't even realize what is happening when they are drunk. They don't comprehend reality in the same fashion as others. Hence they make irrational decisions, such as prolonged drinking. Sometimes when I am drinking, I find myself having a dialogue in my head, "I don't want to drink, but I will anyway. Why? I don't need to. I know it is destructive. There is absolutely no reason for me to drink. But I will anyway."

This is an example of irrational thought that pervades my mind. So in an effort to combat this, I set little daily goals and stick to them. For example, I will not allow myself to have a drink before X time of day. I will limit myself to X number of drinks. I've found that I cannot go without alcohol completely, but if I set little goals like this and regulate my drinking, I am OK from day to day.

And also here I must mention my indescribable appreciation for Jack and his selfless graciousness. He hauled my butt to the hospital more than once when nobody else was around. Who knows what might have happened if he hadn't. Not only has he done this, but, through conversations (a kind of informal counseling), he has extended a whole world of insight and compassion for me to embrace. On the surface, it's friendly dialogue between two friends about a problem. Deeper, it has had a profound effect on me and my outlook on life. Thank you for this Jack -- it is appreciated more than you will ever know.

In closing, I guess I would just like to extend this entire blog post and responses to others who suffer from the same infliction. Just remember that life is too beautiful to let oneself slip to such lows. And, as one poster here mentioned, sometimes it is necessary to hit rock bottom before recovery. I feel like I'm pretty much there currently, so I'm looking forward to a big rebound. I have many great things in my life right now, and I look forward to getting back to enjoying them.

On Alcoholism

2010-01-20T16:12:00.005-05:00

[image:seshdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/alcoholism.jpg]

Those of you who follow me via Twitter and Facebook probably noticed a couple of rather strange-sounding status updates over the past several months. They all, in one way or another, referenced several trips to the ER and being there for friends in need. I think I'm about ready to talk about it. If only because it has taught me valuable lessons about how difficult life can be when you are no longer in control.

BACK IN SEPTEMBER
Back in September I met R, a guy who lives in my apartment building. R seemed intelligent, interesting, well traveled...in short, a pretty nice guy. R and I hung out a few times and as I got to know him I realized we had tons in common. I'm not going to get into any substance, but let's just say that he seemed just as damaged as I was in some pretty fundamental ways.

A couple of weeks after we met, as I was hanging out one Friday evening in my place, R knocked on my door. He looked absolutely terrible. He was sweating profusely, his eyes were dilated and he could barely walk. He told me he had always suffered from some mysterious illness that prevented him from sleeping for days on end and made eating difficult. Even as he slurred his words I made the executive decision that he needed to head to the ER immediately. I grabbed my keys, grabbed my wallet and slowly walked him downstairs to a cab.

At the ER, everything was pretty routine. They took blood and urine samples, gave him an IV and after 4 hours told him that they could not figure out what the problem was. Heading back home R was more himself. We even joked about a couple of smoking hot nurses who had treated him.

MYSTERY ILLNESS STRIKES AGAIN
Sometime in late December R showed up at my door looking even worse than back in September. Again, I dropped everything and took him straight to the ER, where, for the first time, an inkling of what was really going on began to emerge. “Have you been drinking?” the attending physician asked. “No,” was R's response.

Up until this point, I had assumed that any drinking on R's part was merely exarcerbating whatever affliction he suffered from. After the nurses and doctors were gone I pressed R a bit. “Dude, when was the last time you drank?” “Jack, I'm an alcoholic,” he said with some seriousness. After he was discharged we walked back to the apartment building in silence.

Early the next morning, several people in our building walked into R's apartment to find him catatonic. He was seated in a chair in a daze, arms raised to shoulder level. There was a nearly empty bottle of rum on his desk. It took three of us to carry him downstairs to a waiting taxi.

R spent 15 hours in the hospital and was released early the following morning, only to continue drinking for several weeks after that.

LESSONS LEARNED

I think I've learned several things from my friendship with R.

First and foremost, it is clear to me that, whatever my demons might be, there are people who are struggling with far worse. I think back on what I have accomplished over the past several years and wonder if I could have gotten this far if I had started out as damaged as R is. Somehow, I doubt it.

I've also learned that alcoholism, like any other addiction, can affect even the smartest and most capable of all of us. R is still a great guy. I still respect him greatly. I just wish he would slay his demons so he could be free as well.

Good luck R. I believe in you.

Yoga and Meditation are Awesome

2010-01-16T19:09:00.003-05:00

[image:http://www.yogameditation.com/var/corporate/storage/images/english/haaaa_international_course_center/fotogallerie/meditation/meditation__5/21331-1-nor-NO/meditation_image_400_w.jpg]

I just had an awesome Yoga-guided meditation session! I just can’t believe I ever lived my life without yoga and meditation. They have become a a part of me in ways that I could not have imagined a year ago.

Definitely encourage everyone to take a couple of yoga classes just to see what it’s all about. Those of you curious about meditation can start in the privacy of your own home. I highly recommend the online podcasts run by the Insight Meditation Community featuring Tara Brach. She has a wonderful gift for guided meditation.

Take care everyone,

Jack

Inspiration: The Alchemist

2010-01-07T15:38:00.001-05:00

[Image:andreasenka.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/the-alchemist.jpg]

I know I might be preaching to the choir with this post, but I have to say that reading The Alchemist was a transformative experience for me.

I first read the book back in college, at a time when getting laid, drinking with friends, and “finding myself” were very much priorities. Looking back, I have a feeling that the real message of the book was probably muddled by a good deal of post-adolecent angst and a perverse (naïve?) confusion only a classical liberal arts education can generate.

Some years later I reread the Alchemist at a time when getting laid, drinking with friends, and “finding myself” reemerged as priorities. The experience was completely different. Coelho's narrative was now crisper, mode defined, and less allegorical. I no longer saw a boy tending to his flock and traveling the world in search of a treasure he has only seen in his dreams.

Suddenly, I understood what I had to do. Where I had to be. And, more importantly, who I didn't want to be.

I Love You

2010-01-05T15:11:00.002-05:00

I can´t stop thinking about you. And there is so much to think about…

Your long, flowing hair.

Your knowing eyes.

Your easy smile.

Your love of literature, film, and art.

Your courage.

Your capacity to love.

Your capacity to understand.

Your independence.

Your sense of adventure.

I just have two questions for you: (1) Who are you, and (2) When will I finally meet you?

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-31T11:17:00.005-05:00

It’s been years since I’ve been taken in by the New Year’s resolution racket. I’ve always thought putting together a wish list before the New Year was, as Milan Kundera would put it, utter kitsch. After all, if resolutions are supposed to be things you covet, things that you truly want to accomplish, or even things you want to change about your life why would you wait until the end of the year to enumerate them?

On the other hand, maybe taking stock as one decade ends and another begins makes a great deal of sense.

Unlike some of my prior lists, these resolutions are, by design, more selective, generic and ill-defined. They purposely lack a sense of measurement and accountability. And maybe that’s a good thing. Letting go of checklists and time tables allows these resolutions to breathe the open air and become, collectively, what they really represent: a long-term hope that I can become a better person.

PERSONAL

*Be More Open to Love: I think I might be getting beyond this. And this. And definitely this. I want to be in love. Now, if I could only figure out how…

*Be More Open to Others: I am recognizing that a person cannot understand the contours of love without first caring for others. And not just people you happen to know. Beyond family. Beyond friends. Beyond even yourself. Love without boundaries is my goal. I have a lot of work to do.

SPIRITUALITY

*Delve Deeper: I’ve been hinting at this all year. The more I embrace Simple Living, the more I recognize a vacuum somewhere deep inside of me. I’m starting to take the first tentative steps towards filling that vacuum. Let’s see where it leads me.

HEALTH

*New and Improved Diet: After a new-found focus on my diet, I’m gradually moving towards a more cohesive sense of how I want to eat. Still dealing with the basics: less red meat, more salads, more fruit, and more awareness of what’s in my food and where it comes from. It will be interesting how this one evolves this coming year.

PRACTICAL

*Be More Organized: It’s probably the dude in me. I usually don’t let it get out of hand but when I do my place becomes an obstacle course of clothing, empty water bottles, and pizza boxes. I find that I have more energy and a clearer mind when everything is in its place. I think it helps that I have almost nothing at this point. But still…

*Stop Rushing: Yup, I’m one of those people. If I have a meeting somewhere I will wait until I have just enough time to get moving. What ends up happening is that I suddenly drop what I am doing and rush over in a panic to make sure I get there on time. There is just no need for all that stress and frustration. I think the solution is to plan to get to meetings 5 minutes before I have to be there and to leave a lot earlier than I do now.

Jack as Santa: Merry X-mas!

2009-12-25T12:03:00.004-05:00

That's right my dear reader. That is an actual photo of me waiting patiently by an elevator right before walking into a family X-mas party to play the part of Santa.

And how did it go you ask? Well, let's just say that (1) the right-hand side of my beard started falling off as soon as I walked into the apartment, and (2) Santa had to walk barefoot because otherwise it would have been obvious he was wearing jeans and flip flops. But all was well...not sure the 3 and 4-year-olds noticed a thing...

Merry X-mass everyone!

Follow Your Dreams. Always

2009-12-20T15:15:00.004-05:00

Still recovering from my trip to Ecuador. There will be plenty of time to talk about the raw beauty of the Ecuadorian countryside and the wonderful indigineous culture I encountered. Truth is, mountain climbing is still on my mind.

While I was able to climb the northern side of the Illinizas volcano I stopped short of summiting Cotopaxi (5,900m/19,347 feet) by about 350 meters. At that point, I made the decision that I just couldn't go on. And it wasn't because of the altitude. From the start of my ascent I had been battling the worst stomach bug I've had in years (thanks to a couple of yummie street donuts I ate on the way to the volcano) plus I had developed severe congestion in my sinuses. Every breath up Cotopaxi was laborious. Every step a reminder that my stomach wanted to explode.

At about (5,550m/18,200 feet) I had a flashback to a time of similar distress somewhere in the Oregon desert. Back then, a bit vanity and bravado mixed with just plain stupidity put me in a pretty dangerous situation. Not this time. At that point I turned to my guide and said, “no mas/no more.” It was a good decision.

I may not have made the summit. But at least I tried. I fucking tried. And that is more than some people are willing/able to do.

I've said it before. I'll saw it again. Follow your dreams. Always.

Bogota, Colombia to Quito, Ecuador: Visit to Colombian Congress and Other Stories

2009-12-17T08:12:00.006-05:00

[Actual photo of me standing where the president of the Colombian senate sits during a private tour of the Colombian congress. I think I would have made a great dictator...]

After a crazy 12-hour bike ride into Bogota from Villeta my trip was just beginning.

Surprising Bogota
I have to be honest, Bogota was just not what I was expecting. I was picturing a pretty rundown urban mess but instead I found a super modern metropolis with a pretty crazy nightlife. Beyond having to bike an additional 2 hours to get to my hotel once I crossed the city limits (let’s just say I’ve never been that close to death on a bike), my stay was pretty awesome. I need to come back and see more of this place.

Visit to Congress
One of the highlights of my visit to the Colombian capital was being able to take a private tour of Congress, courtesy of a local contact (thanks Isabelle). From sitting in the chair where the president of the Senate sits to discussing how the internal conflict has affected Colombian politics in congressional staffers, this was truly special.

The most intense moment came when I passed by a poster (see below) with a photo of kidnapped military and police officers, some of whom have not seen their families for over 10 years.

Colonial Quito
After a quick stop in Bogota, I took a flight over to the Quito, Ecuador where I began the gradual process of acclimating to high altitude. Check out a photo I shot walking/puffing up the various hills that make up the Ecuadorian capital. While this was pretty awesome, the focus remains climbing Cotopaxi later today. Wish me luck.

PHOTO ROLL

Bogota, Colombia

Quito, Ecuador

GUEST POST: On the Body

2009-12-13T14:38:00.008-05:00

[image www.ithaca.edu]

[NOTE: NSFW]

The following guest post was written by Rhiannon, a regular reader of Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity. I think Rhiannon's post shows that embracing simple living goes beyond de-cluttering your house and eschewing materialism and consumering. It can be a process as internal and personal as embracing the person staring back at you in the mirror.

ON THE BODY
I, like you, have a story. And it can be told... but how best to get my point across? You see, some people’s story can be told by the company they keep. Some by the place they reside or the car they drive. Some by the job they hold or the degrees they display. Some by the photographs of family sitting on the mantle piece. Some by the way the walk or talk. Some by the words they write.

Me? I guess mine can be told by my clothing or, rather, the lack there of!

My story may sound similar to a soap your mom watched at home each afternoon while you were at school: mom and dad become alcoholics, mom and dad begin swinging, mom leaves dad, dad divorces mom, dad dies of cancer, their daughter gets married, has a few kids, husband has affair, husband leaves wife,
ex-wife/daughter, well... gets fat!

I guess it’s fair to say, my story can be told... in my thighs! The swell of my breasts. The girth of my waist. The movement of my curves.

Because within this story, within these full folds of flesh, between these lines. I fret. I fret about my health. About my looks. About the example I teach. Fret... Fret... Fret...

And... I doubt. I doubt myself being true to who I really am. That others will truly be able to see me. That I’ll ever feel beautiful enough, worthy enough, sexy enough, to get out into that big fish bowl of men again. Doubt... Doubt... Doubt...And... I am mean. Mean to my soul. Mean to my heart, my lungs, my knees. Mean... Mean... Mean....
And I wonder. Does all this, fretting, doubting, meanness, serve me?

A healthy self image is something everyone talks about. Something everyone wants. A sexy body is something women want and men desire. I'm no different than everyone! But there seems to be two of these images. One others see and one I see. The two merging would seem to benefit, would they not? But they won’t. No matter how hard I try, the me others see (confident, funny, strong willed, self assured, woman) just will NOT merge with the me the mirror sees (chubby, unsure, scared, selfish, single mama). And although I only see this other me when I happen to be standing in front of a mirror or looking into a photo or in a room full of "pretties," it's still there, looming!

So one day, as I stand in front of the mirror I begin to wonder. Is this image I see in front of me the same one others see? And I already know the answer. So then I question, how can I take away all this fluff? How can I see ME? Just ME?

And the thought hits me. Could it really be that SIMPLE?

So as I stand there in front of the mirror... I begin to peal. Peal off my shirt. Peal off my socks. Peal off my pants. And as I peal, I look! I look and I look. And then I do it... I take off the little bits. (Okay not so little!) And I stare! I examine. I poke. I prod. And I enjoy! I enjoy this piece of art, this vehicle of mine. I spend the rest of the day, walking around the house, cooking meals, doing laundry and I realize I LIKE MY BODY! I like me a lot! Is it super model? No. But it’s mine! My very own story... of making it through.

Will it ever change? Sure! Hard work has proven that. Will I like it even more. Probably! But this body, the one I have now, it’s served me. Because I've lived and I've loved and I've cried and died a million times over. And my body has enjoyed and hated it all, right along with me. My spirits vehicle, will do my every bidding. So for sure I can! I can love me for who I am right now at this moment. The me I see, the me others see. They are all, after all, just me!

Would YOU dare take it all off and see? It is Voluntarily Simple!

Doradal, Colombia to Bogota, Colombia: Bat Snuggling, Floods, and the Toughest Climb Ever

2009-12-10T22:10:00.008-05:00

Miles Per Day: Day 4=75; Day 5=47; Day 6=REST; Day 7=REST; Day 8=REST; Day 9=52.

Total So Far: 256

Inspiration: the smell of clear mountain air (it smells different somehow); Colombian women; the many rivers along the route; Guns n' Roses; the natural beauty around Honda.

Spirits: HOT; strong; amazed; pensive.

Things Seen on the Road: a bat in my motel room; the Magdalene River; flooded roads; hot, hot hot Colombian women; snakes crawling along the road.

Favorite Quotes: After telling a local that I was heading to Honda: “Oh, so you are heading to the furnace of Colombia.” [translation] After telling a hotel guest in Villeta that I was climbing up to Bogota via La Vega highway on a bike: “Only a Gringo...”

What a crazy week it's been. This short trip turned out to be the toughest, most intense I've ever had. But it has made me realize that I can, in fact, tour outside the US without too many problems. The one thing that I need to better plan for is the mountainous terrain of countries like Colombia. Gone are the days when I could cruise 70-80 mile several days at a time. If I am to do more trips in this region I have to be prepared to slow down on distance and embrace the inevitable, unending elevation change.

Natural Beauty of Honda
Heading into Honda, Colombia, I witnessed some of the strangest natural beauty I have ever seen on a bike. On both sides of the road, for miles around, I saw what I can only describe as mountain sculptures. They looked like rocky outcrops that have been weathered over time and that are covered with the greenest of vegetation. I had to stop a couple of times to take a closer look just make sure I wasn't on the set of a Jurassic Park movie.

Floods
I think I was just stupid, but coming past the Magdalena River I saw that the road was flooded in several places. There was never a place where the road was completely flooded, but it is clear that recent rains had flooded the entire countryside and water was now spilling over the main highway. Just check out the video below...I probably should have gotten off the road. But everyone that was driving past didn't seem to mind. Not good on my part I think.

Bat
Of course, snuggling with a bat in Villeta was a highlight this past week. And just to be clear, I left the bat in the motel room with the window open. I just hope the critter was able to leave on his own.

Climbing to Bogota From Villeta
Total elevation change=>2,200 meters (>7,000 feet) in less than 18 miles; road temperature change= 90f to 45f; change in climate= hot and humid to freezing rain.

Absolutely, positively, undeniably the hardest thing I have ever done on a bike. Period. Man was it fun!

Photo ROll

WISH YOU WERE HERE

Snuggling in Bed With Dracula

2009-12-07T10:57:00.006-05:00

So, I get to this small village called Villeta right around 7 pm. It's already dark and I am absolutely wiped. The heat on the road has been almost unbearable and the day's elevation change totaled close to 1,800 meters (>5,700 feet). By the time I stumble into my motel room I'm a bit delirious. I immediately strip naked, run into the shower and let the cool water wash away all the grime and dirt I've picked up from the day's ride. I dry off and collapse on the bed face down, naked and exhausted. The room in pitch black.

By this point, there is a part of me that is absolutely starving and wants to go out to forage for food, but there is also an equally demanding part of me that says that what I really need is a good night's sleep. It is in this fog of indecision that I first hear what I can only describe as chirping or crackling right above my bed. At first, I'm not even sure the sound I am hearing is real. I am sort of going in and out of consciousness and the chirping/crackling is being drowned out by the sounds of salsa floating up from a couple of bars right below the motel.

And then, it happens. Twenty minutes later, still lying on my chest, butt-cheeks up in the air, in the pitch blackness of a Colombian motel room, something suddenly falls on my back. SMACK! CHIRP, CHIRP, CRACKLE, CRACKLE! I jump 10 feet in the air and reach for the light. Fifteen seconds later I record the following video. My apologies for erasing my 10-year-old girl screams.

POSTSCRIPT
Those of you who follow me via Twitter and Facebook know that after my initial bat-induced heart attack I decided to rent a separate room for the night. I didn't want to alert management because I feared they would just kill the poor critter. I had left the window open hoping that it would scamper out into the night. But I just didn't have the energy to move all of my stuff into the new room.

This morning I went back to the scene of the crime. At first it looked like my plan worked. I cautiously went through all of my things, one at a time. Everything checked out all right, until I looked inside my bike helmet. It's hard to see in this video, but believe me, it's in there.

Medellin, Colombia to Doradal, Colombia: Intensity and Natural Beauty All Around

2009-12-04T18:54:00.007-05:00

Miles Per Day: Day 1=31; Day 2=27; Day 3=24.

Total So Far: 82

Inspiration: the crisp mountain air of the Andes; strange, beautiful flowers along the route; the smiles of the people I meet along the way (people here are super friendly);

Sprits: elated; exhausted; content; amazed.

Things Seen on the Road: a talking parrot in the middle of the road; tons of trucks; tons of poverty; school children running alongside my bike as school was letting out.

Favorite Quotes: Colombian soldier with an automatic weapon walking up to me at an abandoned bridge: “So, you are riding on this road all by yourself, huh?” [translation]

So far, this trip is turning out to be tougher, more intense and more interesting than anything I ever did back in the States. It was probably not a good idea to start riding into the Andes with just a few weeks of training under my belt. The elevation has also been a factor. By the time I hit the Rockies back in Colorado I had increased my elevation tolerance pretty gradually. I can't tell you how weird it feels to go from 0 to 4,500 before climbing to 8,500 feet on a fully loaded bike in just a few days.

But, hey, what an adventure this is turning out to be. I'm not sure all the photos and videos in the world would be able to capture all the “realness” and beauty I am seeing from my saddle.

It's a beautiful time to be alive.

THE WRONG ROAD
Let's just say that I should have known better.

Apparently, there are two ways to leave Medellin towards the small town of Rio Negro, my first destination on this trip. I could have traveled over the Andes via Las Palmas OR I could have reached Rio Negro via the mountaintop town of Santa Elena. One would mean a tough but workable 2,800 foot climb into the Andes while the other involves an absolutely insane 4,000 foot climb over just 12 miles full of 14 to 16 grade inclines. Guess which I chose.

Beyond the sheer intensity of that climb, despite not having had the time for adequate training and conditioning, and even though the altitude quickly became a problem, the one thing that really destroyed me that day was the NOT KNOWING. Unlike my Bike Across America trip, I didn't have a good sense of how much further I had before reaching the top of the climb. The map I am using is pretty useless in that respect and the internet is hit or miss when it comes to planning this trip. You have NO idea how frustrating it is to reach what you think is the very top of this monster climb, only to realize that there is another mountain range worth of pain to go. I definitely need to invest in a GPS device for my next trip.

MAP LIMITATIONS
Heading from Rio Negro to Doradal the shittiness of my local map became evident. You see, I had decided not to buy the local topographical maps (not all that helpful for bike riding, in my opinion) and instead invested in a more general road map with an elevation graph in the back. Looking at this graph the morning of the second day I thought I had it made. The graph showed a clear 6,000 foot drop between Rio Negro and my next destination, Doradal. Heading out that day I was feeling pretty good. Until I hit the first of three monster climbs. Seems like the graph failed to show intervening elevation climbs between random towns along the route. Half-way through the second climb I gave up. The sun was horrendous and I had NO idea how many more climbs I had left before reaching Doradal. When I found a roadside motel I decided to stay for the night.

ROADSIDE “MOTEL” AND CREEPY CRAWLIES
Map frustration aside, the evening of my second day on the road was just awesome! I had stopped at a roadside motel that consisted of a primitive restaurant on the first floor and a super mall room on the second floor with what I guess was considered a shower in the back. There was NOTHING around for miles. That evening, the owner, an elderly lady in her 60's, cooked me TWO separate dinners of rice, beans and steak while the family and I watched Colombian soap operas until 10:00pm.

As I headed upstairs, I did my best to avoid stepping on hundreds (thousands?) of insects of all different shapes and sizes. Attracted by the only lights around for miles, these insects filled the floors, ceiling and all the walls along the hallway right outside my room. Not thinking much, I turned the lights on inside my shack/room to do the basics: organize my stuff for the next day, brush my teeth, and get ready for bed. Ten minutes later I noticed them...dozens and then hundreds of insects crawling into cracks along the walls, all of them attracted by the lights inside my room. I quickly shut off the lights and turned on my portable headlight. Let's just say that I fell asleep that night with tons of creepy crawlies walking all over me...

PHOTO ROLL

WISH YOU WERE HERE

On the Road Again: Fuck. Yeah.

2009-11-29T11:34:00.002-05:00

[image: farm1.static.flickr.com]

I'm on the road again.

After generous portions of Thanksgiving lamb and more than a few bottles of wine I've arrived back in South America for three weeks of adventure.

The Plan: (1) try out my biking gear in preparation for a much longer trip down the continent next year; and (2) get off the bike long enough to do some serious sightseeing, backpacking and mountain climbing.

Up First: a “modest” 5 day bike trip between the cities of Medellin and Bogota. Not sure what to expect from this trip but if it's anything like what Nancy experienced recently in Colombia I'm in for the most challenging ride of my life.

Up Next: sightseeing in the Colombian capital, mountain climbing in central Ecuador, and a possible hike up to Machu Pichu in Peru.

Fuck. Yeah.

On Volunteering

2009-11-27T13:29:00.002-05:00

[photo:factoidz.com]

After some fits and starts I've decided to start volunteering at a food bank on a weekly basis. I'm incredibly excited about this. The truth is that I have way too much time on my hands and this feels like a great way to spend my spare time. I'm also mindful that this could be the beginning of something much more meaningful in my life.

VOLUNTEER BACKGROUND
It's not like I've never volunteered before. I've been known to lend a hand at soup kitchens every now and then, particularly around the holidays. But hey, the number of hot chicks whom I've met over the years at these places always seemed to justify my participation. I've also done my share of pro-bono work as an attorney, though I probably was more focused on meeting the pro-bono hour requirement my firm demanded in order to “qualify” for a bonus.

MOVING FORWARD
The bottom line is that after close to 2 years of intensely personal, sometimes painful, changes in my personal and emotional life I'm ready to move on to something more essential. This, I think, is the inevitable result of embracing simple living.

Emerging from the harsh glare of materialism, consumerism and never-ending excess, my first instinct was to focus on the physical. Even as all the de-cluttering, the selling, and the donating progressed I began to confront a much more internal and much more personal journey, one that I suspect (hope?) will continue for the rest of my days. It is now, in the mist of this journey, that certain things have become too hard and too clear to ignore:

*I do not live in an island. What I do and what I DON'T do affects everyone around me.
*I am a person because I am defined by how others are born and how they live, work, survive, and die.
*Most importantly, this journey that I am on, a journey that has brought so much joy, beauty and serenity to my life...this journey cannot be made alone.

I CHOOSE TO VOLUNTEER
And so, I choose to volunteer. Not so much because “I want to help.” No. It's too early to say that. I want to volunteer because I recognize that I can understand more about myself and my relationship to the rest of the human race by giving my time and labor to others.

It is still a rather selfish endeavor, but I am hoping that greater empathy and understanding will follow.

GUEST POST: A Critical Reader’s Take

2009-11-20T11:35:00.003-05:00

[image:shirleyjacksonawards.org]

Below is a guest post from Anonymous, a Biglaw attorney and regular reader of this blog.

Let me just say that I generally agree with Anonymous´ overall critique. I actually don´t see a great deal of conflict between his argument and the content of this blog. How his critique fares against other facets of the Simple Living/Voluntary Simplicity movement is, however, another matter. But that is for you, my dear reader, to decide.

On a separate note, I have to say that I am a bit disappointed with the lack of critical guest blog submissions. I´ve received tons of submissions focusing on (1) the benefits of pursuing a Simple Living lifestyle, and (2) incredibly positive commentaries about me and this blog in particular. While I appreciate the enthusiasm it would be great to publish posts with a much more critical perspective. Nothing kills ideas faster than group think and intellectual complacency.

Bottom line, if you have ever been pissed by something written on this blog, or just generally disagree with some specific aspect of this nebulous yet wonderful thing called Simple Living, drop me a line.

A Critical Reader’s Take

I read Jack’s blog because, as I suspect is the case with most of its readers, I identify with Jack. My life often feels cluttered and weighed down by unnecessary STUFF. I yearn to spend my days hiking mountain trails rather than trapped behind my lawyer’s desk. I attempt to alleviate my depression by purchasing a new jacket, drinking an extra drink, taking home a new girl, thinking that THIS time when I get what I want I will be happy. But of course, when the newness dies away, I find I need something else; the brief moments of satisfaction do nothing to quench my desire for more. The cycle continues, until I find I have accumulated an apartment full of crap I no longer want and certainly never needed, a hangover I can’t shake and a phone full of the numbers of young women whose faces I can’t recall.

So yes, I certainly identify with Jack. And I thank Jack – I have done so in a personal email to him – for sharing his adventure with us. It is inspiring to “witness” his courage and boldness in forsaking the life of temptation and luxury. And moreover, I think Jack has stumbled onto something that is – at least in part – profound and wise. I agree that this life that we have been geared to build with our higher education and white collar jobs does not necessarily hold the key to happiness.

But though Jack and I agree on the diagnosis, we disagree on the cure. Or at least I believe that Jack’s only found the half of it. Jack seems to think, and from the comments it looks like most of his active readers agree, that the answer to the problem is to cut the STUFF out of your life. “Simplify” is the motto, which I take to primarily be a mandate to rid your life of the physical clutter (unnecessary possessions, money, etc.) and maybe also to rid yourself of the desire for this materialistic clutter. The ideal also seems to include some kind of ill-defined spiritual contentment that necessarily follows from a life of materialistic simplicity. (Clearly Jack or others in the simplicity movement will take issue with my characterization, and I look forward to correction and clarification).

Here’s my disagreement with the Simplicity strawman I just built: Simplifying is all well and good, until you come to define your happiness by how Simple you can be. How is being defined by how much clothing you lack any different from being defined by how much you have? How is thinking happiness resides in a tent in the woods any different from believing you will find it in a mansion? In both cases you are looking for it out there, in a reality that doesn’t exist. “If only I get (lose) the big screen T.V., if only I get (lose) the condo, if only I get (lose) the girl.” When the world is telling you that the T.V., the condo and the girl will make you happy, and you realize that it won’t, it is natural to swing back in the other direction, thinking it is the lack thereof that will do the trick. Too often I’m seeing those with good intentions get sucked into this trap (and yes, I would hate to see Jack, a man I admire, be sucked in as well).

I don’t believe that Simplicity is necessary for true happiness. At least not the capital S Simplicity for which Jack strives. Our STUFF is a convenient whipping boy, but I think there is something deeper and more nuanced at play. Our dissatisfaction lies not in what we have or don't have, but in our very need to define ourselves by these materialistic measurements - for richer OR poorer. It is not only our things and our relationship to our things that need to be re-evaluated. If we’re taking a serious look at where we can find real happiness, I think all of us, especially those in the Simplicity movement, need to consider our attachment to our lack of things as well.

Dancing Update

2009-11-18T14:03:00.003-05:00

[Photo: ellowcitizensmusic.com]

It has been a relaxing couple of weeks. Nothing like some sun and more than just a few beers to relax the mind and reenergize the spirit.

Now that I´m back from vacation, I can now turn to several things that have been bugging me recently. Top of my list is how I´m doing on the dance floor.

Frankly, this whole learning how to dance thing is not going well. I JUST DON’T GET RHYTHM. Let me rephrase…I can generally hear the rhythm in a piece of music and can even clap the rhythm out for a bit. But I´m screwed when it comes to applying rhythm on the dance floor. You have no idea how stressful my lessons have become. I feel bad that I´m not advancing as fast as I should be. I am constantly apologizing to my teacher for taking so long to get the basics. I am always watching the clock, hoping that the hour passes as quickly as possible. In short, I´m really not having any fun.

But, hey, nothing worthwhile is ever easy. I´m going to take another shot at this thing with a new attitude. Maybe I´m putting too much stress on myself. The point, after all, IS to have some fun and learn the basics at my own pace. I´ll let you know how it goes.

Inspiration: The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off

2009-11-08T21:02:00.004-05:00

[image: 2.bp.blogspot.com]

Today Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity inaugurates a series of posts dedicated to people, places and things that have inspired me to embrace simple living/voluntary simplicity. I hope the subject of these posts help you on your own journey towards a more meaningful, more authentic, and more sustainable way of living.

And what better way to start things off than with Jonny Kennedy.

The Boy Whose Skin Fell Off: Jonny Kennedy
There are so many wonderful things to love about Jonny. First, it is obvious that Jonny was an incredibly charismatic individual. Whether he is joking about how he will fit in his coffin, or flirting with a British model by playing up his illness, the man definitely had a “presence” that cannot be denied.

Second, Jonny, unlike most of us, chose to live his life on his own terms. His illness gave him a perspective that few of us ever internalize: the ability to appreciate what trully matters in life. Gone is getting pissed because traffic is backed up; saving up to buy that new Prada bag; working like a dog just to get that promotion; etc...Nope. Even as Jonny's world was dominated by constant, never-ending pain, he understood that the most meaningful things in life are as simple as learning to fly a plane for the very first time.

Jonny 1

Jonny 2

Jonny 3

Jonny 4

Jonny 5

On Getting Laid

2009-11-02T11:10:00.002-05:00

[image: http://www.la2day.com/files]

Confession: when I am NOT in a relationship I am just way too focused on having sex. With as many women as possible. All the time. As in every waking hour.

THE SLEEZY ASSHOLE
For the record, I can't quite claim to be the sleezy asshole who constantly lies to chicks in order to hide the fact that I'm sleeping with other chicks. Been there done that. It's an unmanageable, exhausting experience I don't care to repeat.

Nope. I'm the type of sleezy asshole who comes clean with just how much of a sleezy asshole I am. If I am sleeping with you it's because I have sat you down and had The Talk:

“Yes, making love to you was amazing”
“No, I'm not dating anyone right now”
“Yes, I would love to come by again tomorrow”
“BUT no, I don't want anything serious”
“AND yes, I will probably sleep with other chicks.”

The Talk: Scenario A
“Not a problem? Great! See you tomorrow”

The Talk: Scenario B
“Not into it? That's totally cool. I really had a great time. It was nice meeting you.”

TAKING A BREAK
Recently, after a rather serious downward spiral in my personal life, I decided to shelve The Talk for a while. The bottom line is that I have a sneaking suspicion that tons of meaningless sexual escapades would actually undermine some of the progress I have made in other aspects of my life.

Over the past year and a half I have found a certain kind of peace that I never knew was possible. It's a fledgling kind of peace, always struggling to solidify and define itself. Always striving to teach me that I am more than just a piece of paper, more than just a career, more than just a bank account, more than just a selfish asshole. This is a peace that is meaningful to me and I want to protect it any way I can.

This is not to say that I'm completely retiring The Talk. Old habits die hard. But I do think it's important to take some time to figure out how I can live my life without being consumed by something as fleeting and meaningless as getting laid.

Jack Has a Job

2009-10-29T17:57:00.002-04:00

[image:blog.usa.gov/roller/govgab/resource/images]

Jack has a job.

ALL I CAN SAY
At this point, all I can say is that (1) this job is, in fact, in the non-profit sector; (2) the organization in question is flexible enough to allow me to work while I do some of my long-term bike trips; and (3) it is a position that I was offered by a regular reader of this blog.

That last point is key. Not sure I want to have a repeat of what happened during my firm's Christmas party last year. :)

BOTTOM LINE
The bottom line is that I'm pretty excited about this. What's just soooo awesome is that this is the very first time in my working life that I am choosing a job just because I like what I will be doing. Money, status, “career advancement,” etc...went out the window a while ago. All that matters is that I am doing something that reflects my values and adds to my long-term happiness.

GUEST POST: Misfortune and Metamorphosis

2009-10-20T14:18:00.003-04:00

[image: 1.bp.blogspot.com/_jfl3jC--WH8/SDXJ9IrdwqI]

The following guest post was prepared by my friend and fellow blogger Dana over at Miles Before I Sleep. While I do think the content of this post speaks for itself, I did want to emphasize the obvious: DON'T wait to live the life you've always wanted. And don't ever, EVER, take anything, or anyone, for granted.

MISFORTUNE AND METAMORPHOSIS

In my opinion, Jack's entire blog is devoted to change. It's devoted to his search with in himself to try and find out who he was, is, and who he wants to become. It seems to me that it is in this search that we have connected. Both searches, his and my own, have hit road blocks but we both are still living and enjoying the metamorphosis. Therefore, I've decided to write about HOW and WHY I came to this changing point in my life. I'll apologize now if you find my story a little graphic but we all have a breaking point and mine was July 21st, 2006....

Before this day, you could sum up my existence quite simply. I was with Ryan and we had 3 little boys. We both worked full time, struggled to pay our bills, were mass consumerists, and were exhausted at the end of each day. There was no "out" for us in sight as it seemed. We just hoped that someday we would be able to pay our bills on time and just live. Unfortunately, that day never came with us doing it together.

On July 20th, 2006, Ryan and his father were at our house trimming our trees. They had finished the back two and were heading to the front tree when I left to prepare for a garage sale. An hour later as I'm driving towards home, I can see lights flashing in the distance... they appeared to be at my house. As I parked, I saw the ambulance doors close and speed off...

As I pulled up to my house, I was stopped by his father who informed me that Ryan had fallen off the front porch roof. My first thought was, "Great... bet he broke his leg and now we're gonna be short money for time off work." (In reflection, isn't it sad that THIS was the way I thought?)

Then I noticed the pool of blood on the sidewalk, and the hysteria on his father's face. One of the firemen took pity on me after I explained that I was a nurse and to please tell me the truth. I still remember his words exactly, "Your husband fell 15-20 feet off the roof, onto his head. He was unresponsive on the scene and he was bleeding from his head, mouth, nose, and ears. They intubated him and he just left for the hospital."

Deep down, I knew my husband was going to die.

Still, I prayed over and over again on the drive to the hospital. I prayed when they wouldn't let me back to see him. I prayed as they decided to life flight him to Iowa City.

Ryan suffered many things in the one brief instant when his head hit the ground. He suffered a comminuted, displaced, and depressed skull fracture spreading from the base of his skull outward to his jaw, and upward to his forehead. A piece of skull severed his main artery to the brain. He suffered 2 strokes. His brain then herniated due to inter-cranial pressure. He was unable to have the pressure reduced because he went into a DIC (Disseminated intra vascular coagulation-- a massive hemorrhage from all open orifices of the body). He was bleeding to death. He was on life support and was given units of blood and platelet infusions. He went into a multi-system organ failure and I finally turned off his life support machine in the morning of July 21st, 2006.

He died.

The wonderful human being I loved, the father of our three children had died.

The hardest part was telling our oldest son, Zakari, that daddy had died that day. I still look at his face and remember how he cried that afternoon... I'll always remember Izeah and Zane asking for daddy, yet there was no more daddy.

That was my breaking point. The time after his death was chaos. I went through many stages of grief... crying, pretending I was fine, being a full time mommy during the day, binge drinking at night, engaging in promiscuous sex, making excuses. I did this for about a year after his death. I make no excuses for any of it now. I did it all by choice and since there is no actual "right way" to grieve, I've since accepted what I went through as my road to healing...

This event in my life was an astonishing wake up call.
I was tired of working full time and never enjoying my children.
I was tired of being part of this mass consumer way of thinking.
I was tired of working just to keep up with the Jones'.
I was sick and tired of who I was.

So I changed.

I gave up my full time job and now work a schedule that I make. I spend more time with my children then ever before. I've taught myself to be productive and more self sufficient. We're trying everyday to turn our lives into a more sustainable living lifestyle. I work everyday to not burden the earth but to help her. We live more frugal and I love it. We all take trips together, children and all, to explore nature, cities, music, our passions. Would I have done any of this before? Probably not.

I also managed to meet another wonderful man, John, who I married 3 weeks ago :)

Everyday of my life I remember this one event that changed my whole world. Ryan's death made me pause for a minute, if you will. It made me realize that I was wasting my time being what everyone else wanted me to be. I realized that I could be a much better parent to my beautiful children. I realized that it is much more satisfying to live simply and fulfilled then to always be wanting. I learned to look up at the stars at night with my children and discuss how many there are and how beautiful they are. I learned how to SHOW the people I love how just how much I love them. I learned when John came along that I had been blessed not once, but twice with an incredible partner, one that I'll be damned I was going to let get away :)

So Jack, kudos to you for changing your life. Some days are still hard for me, as I'm sure they are for you, giving up things that used to make us comfortable. When this happens to me though, I try to put myself back in that day, remember what happened and remember that Ryan never got to experience this life style.

I know I don't want to die without ENJOYING my life and this "life" I speak of is the one I'm living now.

Peace and love,
Dana

Ryan a few months before he died with Zakari and Zane.

Our family 3 weeks ago... John, me, Kayla, Zakari, Izeah, and Zane (age order :)

On Getting a Vasectomy

2009-10-17T16:49:00.005-04:00

[image: www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby]

I'm seriously considering getting a vasectomy. Yeah, I know...

To voluntarily allow a sharp, pointy object anywhere near Jack Jr. ranks right up there with looking inside Jeffrey Dahmer's refrigerator. And yet, here I am, googling the procedure like mad, trying to understand my options.

The benefits are clear. As someone who doesn't want children, having a vasectomy would largely eliminate any nasty surprises going forward. Plus, it would be wonderful to have the freedom to make love to my partner without fumbling for a condom, or relying on their own contraception method.

There are definitely some drawbacks. First, a vasectomy is not a sure thing. But WHAT is ever a sure thing? Also, it's not a procedure that can be easily reversed. On the other hand, there is nothing stopping me from freezing a batch of little Jacks in case the love of a wonderful woman happens to change my mind.

I have a lot to think about...

I Have Too Much Money

2009-10-14T14:24:00.002-04:00

[image:http://puesoccurrences.files.wordpress.com]

Trying to shake off a recent downward spiral in my personal life I came to a rather strange conclusion earlier this afternoon:

I have too much money. Again.

I'M IN THE MONEY
If you recall, I drafted a preliminary budget about a year ago and decided to donate/give away any extra cash that I just didn't really need. At the time, I thought I was pretty conservative in assuming a decrease of 20% in my portfolio given the onset of what we are now calling the Great Recession. By the market lows of March/April 2009 I was down close to 40%, mostly because I'm all about long-term investing and wanted to catch the inevitable upside.

As of noon today my long-term investments are up close to 29% YTD and over 13% from my initial budget projections. This does not even take into account some pretty serious gains I made over the past couple of weeks buying short in the energy and financial sectors. In fact, I made enough mula over the past 10 days to pay for most of my upcoming trip through South America.

HAVING TOO MUCH MONEY BLOWS
Under normal circumstances this would actually be a good thing. After all, why would anyone bemoan having MORE money?

Fuck that. The truth is that having “too much” money corrupts the soul. It leads to unnecessary excess. It feeds the baser instincts of our nature. It certainly doesn't add substantally to our long-term “happiness.” The bottom line is that having “too much” money blows.

What's so beautiful about the simple living movement is the fact that “too much” is something that each one of us should decide for ourselves. My budget might be extravagant for some, inadequate for others. In fact, I have plenty of wealthy friends who currently lead a perfectly happy life on their own terms, but who would gag if they were forced to live on my budget for even a single day. Just as I would break out into a cold sweat if I was forced to live the life they seem to enjoy.

Don't ever feel guilty about having more money than others. But always be fearful that you might lose your soul if you have “too much.”

WHAT NOW
So, what now?

I don't know. I guess I could do another give-away. A couple of small donations to some VA hospitals and an animal rights organization might also do the trick.

On the other hand, maybe the thing to do is to keep investing and then dole out extra cash over time. I rather enjoy this investing racket and it would actually feel good to keep increasing the donation pie over the long term.

Ummm...maybe an Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity foundation is the way to go. :)

I Need a Drink

2009-10-13T00:13:00.003-04:00

All of my world is empty tonight. There are feelings somewhere still, but they have scampered off to places I no longer recall. I regret nothing. How could I? The alternative would be to live a lie I am no longer prepared to live. And to die as someone I am not.

You are inside me now. Never forget that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a drink...

Jack

Dancing Simplicity

2009-10-07T12:18:00.002-04:00

There is no reason to deny it: I dance like a douchebag.

Seriously. Force me onto a dance floor after 3 beers or so and you might actually see something like this:

Well, I've had enough. It's time to slay my inner dancing douche. Starting today, Jack is officially a student at a dance studio. That's right. Over the next 3 months I will work to master the basic ballroom dances (waltz, foxtrot, tango...etc), something that will hopefully prepare me for some of the more modern stuff.

I'm actually excited about this. Dancing is not exactly something I enjoy. But there is a great deal of freedom in learning how to do something I've always found unapproachable and totally beyond my control. I'm not sure I would have had the time, the patience, or even the inclination to do this before leaving Biglaw. Just goes to show how a change in perspective can lead to unexpected places.

South America Dreaming

2009-10-05T23:35:00.003-04:00

[image:destination360.com]

After some research, a scouting trip, and plenty of consultations with fellow bike tourists I have decided to start my South American adventure next spring. The bottom line is that if I were to leave this month (as I had previously wanted) I would arrive in southern Chile and Argentina just as winter is settling in. Not all that enthused about biking in the remote wilderness of Patagonia in the middle of a never-ending blizzard.

At this point, it makes more sense to start focusing on other things. In the meantime, I have a feeling I will be dreaming of getting dirt on my face, camping under strange stars and leaving civilization behind. It’s just a matter of time.

GUEST POST: My Date with Jack

2009-09-24T20:46:00.006-04:00

[image: api.ning.m]

Today Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity is inaugurating a series of guest posts from fellow bloggers, friends and assorted “simple living” cronies. The intent is to encourage ongoing dialogue regarding all aspects of the voluntary simplicity/simple living movement. Each approved guest post will be published as written without any editorial oversight so long as the following guidelines are observed:

*Posts must be at least tangentially related to the voluntary simplicity/simple living movement or must focus on a topic previously covered on the blog.

*Draft posts that are critical of me, the blog, and/or the voluntary simplicity/simple living movement are ABSOLUTELY ENCOURAGED. However, please note that posts that contain unnecessay venom and vitrolic insults will not be published.

If you would like to submit a guest post feel free to email me directly with a brief description of the topic you would like to tackle. Note that certain suggested guest posts may be declined for editorial reasons (topic may have already been covered by a previous poster; draft post is poorly written, etc...).

MY DATE WITH JACK
The following guest post was written by Nancy Vogel, author of the Family on Bikes blog:

My Date with Jack
“What if he really is a pompous ass?” I thought to myself as I sat on the bus for the 4-hour journey into Medellin to meet Jack in person. “What if – for all his talking about making these fundamental changes in this thinking - he’s still that pretentious, arrogant, puffed-up son of a bitch he talks about?”

The internet is a strange place – you meet people and forge friendships without ever knowing what they look like. Jack and I had read each other’s blogs for well over a year, emailed many times, and even talked on the phone. I had told many people about my lawyer friend who was making the transition to a life more simple, yet I didn’t even know his real name. What if, after all that, he really was an asshole I wouldn’t want to be found within shouting distance of?

But then I walked up to the door of the museum we had agreed to meet at and he walked out with his boyish grin, and all that was forgotten. Here was Jack – in his old brown t-shirt, jeans, and three-day-old beard. The Jack I had pictured after all.

Gracious, kind, gentle, giving, and warm as the summer sunshine, Jack was the kind of person I could sit and talk with for hours – which is exactly what we did. We chatted in a café while drinking fresh lulo juice, we chatted as we walked the busy streets of Medellin towards the bike store, and we chatted while in the taxi to the mall.

In so many ways, Jack and I are on the same journey. I suppose I started a couple years ahead of him, but we’re on the same path. I remember those days all too well – those days when I struggled with the idea of giving up all I had worked so hard for, of giving up the American Dream I was supposed to want, of walking away from society’s expectations to make my own way on this planet… It was fun to listen to Jack voice the exact same thoughts I went through a couple years earlier.

But there were still a few strings attached – strings pulling him back. Or maybe they are ropes. Or cables. That uppity lawyer mindset doesn’t relinquish its hold easily.

“I’ve got to go buy a pair of shoes,” Jack said. “Want to come to the mall and help me pick them out?”

Shoes? New shoes?

“I’ve been invited to a law conference tomorrow,” he explained. “And I need to be dressed for it. I’ve borrowed a suit and tie, but don’t have any shoes.”

I admit it – if it had been me I would have borrowed the suit and then worn my Birkenstocks rather than go buy new shoes. But I digress…

And so we found ourselves at a posh, swanky mall filled with generic high-priced shops looking at stylish Colombian leather shoes. Is this really the Jack I thought I knew?

“I love my 3-day-old beard!” Jack told me, “but I think I’ll have to shave it off for tomorrow. I don’t want to, but…” Those old law-firm expectations obviously still have their grip on him in some ways – those bony fingers still have the ability to reach in and wrap themselves around his new-fangled way of thinking…

But what I love about Jack is his utter honesty – with himself and others. He’s grappled with the fundamental ideas of what’s important – what’s really important. He’s one of those rare individuals who has the courage to thrust aside all those expectations placed upon him – from his colleagues, his mother, his friends, and yes – from himself. He’s looked at the demands of society and come to the difficult conclusion that the American Dream may not be all it’s cracked up to be after all.

State of the Blog: Taking Stock

2009-09-23T23:28:00.002-04:00

[photo: media.guelphmercury]

Someone asked me the other day why I haven't been blogging much this month. I told them that I just didn't feel like it. Besides, I've been rather busy traveling up a storm and I just haven't been able to catch my breath long enough to think about blogging.

But things are different tonight. Tonight I am feeling rather introspective. Introspective in a pensive, let's-take-stock-of-where-life-is-taking-me sort of way. To say that stuff is starting to crystalize and solidify in new and unexpected ways would be an understatement. There is much to talk about:

*There is definitely some movement on the career front. I think some of you will love where things are heading.

*I definitely want to tell you about what I learned on my recent trip to South America to scout out potential bike routes and get some one-on-one tips from other long-distance bike tourists.

*I've also come to the realization that I am absolutely starved for spiritual nourishment. In some ways, everything I have been doing up till now has been just been a precursor to a much more essential internal journey that I am only now prioritizing.

And this is just the tip of the iceburg.

Stay tuned.

Reflections (5): I Don't Want Children

2009-09-09T15:51:00.002-04:00

[image: rlv.zcache.com]

I don't want children. Period.

I've moved away from some ealier ambivalence on this issue. I think there is still a part of me that questions whether I could have the patience and commitment necessary to be a good parent. There is also a measure of selfishness in not wanting to place an irrevocable limitation on my finances and my personal life.

But what has completely transformed my thinking on this issue is a new-found understanding of what, specifically, I want out of life. There was a time when essential life decisions (education, career, love...) were clouded by social, cultural, and class expectations, by other people's opinions, and by perceived familial obligations. No longer.

Jack's new life paradigm is rather simple: (1) figure out what I need to secure long-term “happiness,” and (2) go out and find it. Anything that I don't consider an essential componet of this theoretical “happiness” is just not prioritized. And guess what? I just don't find child-rearing to be essential to my long-term happiness. After some soul searching I have come to the conclusion that I just don't have an overwhelming need to pass on my genes. I also don't believe that children are required to sustain meaningful love between two people. And, more importantly, I strongly suspect that the valuable lessons a person learns as a parent can be learned thorugh other endeavors.

This is not to say that I will NEVER have kids. It just means that having them is not a personal priority. I could see a situation in which I meet a person that becomes very important to me and who does prioritize child-rearing. At that point, a decision will have to be made that might very well change my life forever.

[Reflections introductory post]

Update on Nutrition

2009-09-06T11:11:00.003-04:00

nutr [image: extension.umd.edu]

I thought it was a good time to check in regarding the nutrition plan I brought up last month.

The truth is that I've been too busy and too nomadic to really sit down and put together a more oranized long-term nutrition plan. On the other hand, I have spent more than just a few hours perusing some of the titles referenced in the comments section of my previous post. In fact, during my visit to NYC a couple of weeks ago, I spent an entire day perusing several copies of Pollan and Weil texts (recommended by Marissa, LAS, Meg, and others) at the Barnes & Noble right on Union Square. This is in addition to the many hours spent surfing the web doing independent research.

I still want to sit down and come up with a more concrete plan. If you've read this blog you know that I have a penchant for list-making and goal-setting that is, for better or worse, all-encompassing. But what is becoming increasingly clear is that I am swayed by the views of people like Amy, Debbi and others who advocate a much more body-centric view of nutrition. Maybe the focus should be on how my body feels after eating certain types of foods and gradually recalibrating how I eat going forward.

Regardless of how this plays out, I'm already taking baby steps in what I think is the right direction. I have already started to limit the amount of red meat I eat (right up to July, I ate red meat with almost every meal, save for breakfast) and have greatly increased my intake of fruits and vegetables. And though I haven't completely moved to organic stuff I have a feeling I will be a convert before long.

Follow the Road

2009-09-02T12:59:00.003-04:00

[image: photography.nationalgeographic.com]

There is no denying it any longer. I’m getting the bicycle tour bug again. In a BIG way. It’s hard to describe. It’s almost as if I’ve left a part of myself out on the road…and I’m not going to feel completely whole until I get back on that bike and start pedaling again. Walking around town, hanging out with friends, balancing my portfolio, grappling with career next steps, and every other mundane and not-so mundane thing I’ve been doing these past couple of months has all felt like a prelude to something much more pertinent and essential. Suddenly, life, in its most pure, simplest form, only exists (lives?) out on the open road.

That is not to say that I have not enjoyed my time off the bike. There is something to be said for resting your mind and body and reconnecting with those most important to you. But I definitely think a shift has taken place. Whereas traveling was always a welcome, (albeit short) respite from the comfortable and predictable routine of work/bar hopping/work/family stuff/work/bar hopping/work…traveling has now taken over my imagination in ways that I am still trying to come to terms with. The old routine is now a necessary respite in between moments of pure joy and adventure.

NEXT ADVENTURE
So, what’s the next adventure you ask? Well, here it goes:

I’m aiming to travel the length of South America. From the coast of Colombia to the tip of Patagonia in Argentina. By bicycle.

I’m still in the planning stages so I can’t really share any details other than to say that this trip is probably several months away. But I’m already having dreams of setting up camp on the highest peaks of the Andes, hiking up to Machu Pichu, and sleeping under Southern stars. The road beckons. I have no choice but to heed it’s call.

State of the Blog: Sabbatical and Next Steps

2009-08-30T12:24:00.002-04:00

[image: http://www.engagecommunitychurch.com]

Just a short note to let you guys know that I’m back from a self-imposed e-sabbatical. Nothing like getting away from it all to recharge and reenergize, particularly towards the end of a hot, lazy summer.

There are so MANY things I want to share with you. Things are starting to fall into place in so many wonderful ways. Expect more soon. I promise.

Jack

Trip Photos on Picasa

2009-08-17T09:37:00.003-04:00

[Photo: last photo of the trip, taken by "Dave" on the Oregon coast]

I finally got around to uploading my Bike Across America photos on Picasa. You can now view all the photos in greater resolution and in a much larger format.

When I look through these albums I am really amazed by how beautiful, harsh, inspiring, and completely amazing this trip turned out to be. I have a smirk on my face as I write this because I know this is, indeed, just the beginning. :)

Here's a link to all the Photos, organized by blog post and destination.

Here's a link to the Best Photos album.

Take care everyone,

Jack

On Nutrition

2009-08-13T17:42:00.004-04:00

[Photo: natureshelpermedical.com]

When I first started this journey the focus was almost exclusively on the material. At the time, the Enemy was readily identifiable and physical. There was a huge house I no longer desired. There was a job that was meaningless to me. There was stuff to get rid of, debt that controlled me and extra money I didn't really need.

And then, somewhere along the way, the journey became internal. Suddenly, I started reevaluating everything. From confronting certain family demons to questioning the value of marriage and child-rearing, the focus of this blog became more varied and three-dimensional.

And now it's time to add a new layer to this journey.

NUTRITION
I have always led a healthy lifestyle. Or, to be more precise, I have always sought to live the kind of lifestyle people considered healthy. It sounds good on paper: I exercise regularly, avoid caffeine and eat “healthy” meals. Having added yoga and meditation to the mix, you could forgive me for thinking that I lead a pretty healthy lifestyle.

And yet, somehow, I feel like I'm missing something. For one thing, traveling across the country on a bicycle has really changed my internal body chemistry. There were weeks during this trip when there was nothing to eat but hamburgers, fries, chili dogs and carbonated drinks. In fact, at one point, my addiction to Sierra Mist became so pronounced that I literally had daydreams of chugging some down as I was bicycling along the shoulder of an interstate highway somewhere in Kansas.

I'm also pretty unnerved by all the seemingly contradictory information out there regarding nutrition. There was a time when I felt a had a pretty good grasp on what “healthy eating” meant. But no longer. Seriously. How can I claim to know anything about nutrition after watching a documentary like “Food, Inc.,” or perusing some of the food-related commentary on such venerable blogs as Choosing Voluntary Simplicity and Cage Free Family?

HELP!
Bottom line, I want to completely reassess my understanding of nutrition and so-called “healthy eating.” And I am hoping you guys can help me:

1. Basic Facts. It would be fantastic if I could find links to online sources that discuss nutrition and healthy eating. I am specifically looking for independent, apolitical, and impartial commentary that does not promote a specific nutritional plan at the exclusion of all others. At some point, I would love to delve deeper into the merits of specific nutritional diets but I'm just not there yet. I want to get the lay of the land before committing to one thing or another.

2. Detox? I may be getting ahead of myself here, but can you guys discuss the benefits, practicalities and possible side affects of detoxing after my bike trip? It might make sense to focus on this once I reevaluate the meaning of “healthy eating” (see point 1. above) but I really want to get started on something like this ASAP.

In some ways, this is the most daunting topic I have confronted on this blog. I'm not expecting to figure it all out overnight. I'm not even certain that I will be able to commit to the kind of nutritional plan that best suits me. All I know is that I have tons of questions and very few answers.

Simple Gifts

2009-08-10T12:33:00.005-04:00

[image: bccb.lis.illinois.edu]

Those of you who have followed my journey since its inception have probably noticed that, with one relevant exception, I've always taken great pains to ignore references and reviews of this blog in the news media and elsewhere. As the “anti-blog,” Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity has always been rather insular, answerable only to its readers via the comments section of each and every post.

And yet, every once in a while, an exception is in order. Bill Holston, a fellow attorney from Dallas, Texas, lay minister, and long-time reader, was kind enough to send me a couple of links that I think you will all enjoy.

1. The first is a commentary broadcast on NPR entitled “Simple Gifts.” It focuses on how the current economic downturn has forced people to reevaluate their priorities and embrace simple living as a lifestyle. On a personal note, it's nice to have been mentioned with the likes of Vonnegut and the Shakers.

2. The second is a sermon Bill gave at his church, Fellowship Bible Church Arapaho. This sermon is quite thought-provoking and delves into the essence of simplicity from a religious perspective. Do email me if you would like to receive an official, non-verbatim transcript.

Enjoy!

Reflections (4): On Death

2009-08-06T17:46:00.006-04:00

TO BE OPENED ON THE EVENT OF MY DEATH

August 6, 2009

ON DEATH
If you are reading this it is because I have passed on. All I can say at this point is that you should NOT feel sad for me. At all. In fact, you should know that by the time I wrote this I was ready to die. Or, more precisely, I had stopped worrying about death.

That's not to say I don't feel a little trepidation about how, exactly, I died. Not sure you can ever prepare yourself for being crushed by a semi, being drowned at sea, or even succumbing to a horrible disease. None of that stuff sounds very pleasant.

But it is the process of death that I have come to terms with. I am now actually looking forward to embarking on one last great journey, one that every one of us will one day share. On this journey, there is no bicycle to ride, no tent to set up, no defined trail to blaze. Death is as natural as childbirth, as comforting as breathing and, just maybe, as beautiful as a sunset over a clear blue ocean.

Death is the greatest journey of them all.

TO MY FAMILY
There is no denying that things have never been easy for us. There have been moments of rancor and bitterness that, at times, have tested our love for each other.

But that's all in the past. It doesn't matter now. In fact, as I sit here today, none of that stuff ever mattered. Ever.

What truly matters is that you know how deeply I have loved each and every one of you. How my love for you has sustained me through some of the darkest, loneliest moments of my life. How this love seeped into every inch of my heart until there was nothing left but memories of my love for you.

I love you all. I always will.

TO MY FRIENDS
You all know that I've never been the type of guy to express my feelings. But I guess that no longer matters.

I want you all to know that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for your strength, love and support. Know that I cared for you and that I cherished every beer, every laugh, and every hug we shared over the years.

If there is one overarching regret about death is that I can no longer be there for you. What comforts me is that I will always be your friend.

INSTRUCTIONS

Ashes
It is my wish that my remains be cremated and that my ashes be spread along the Mount Vernon Bike Trail in Northern Virginia on a clear, crisp fall day. Though I wouldn't object to dropping a little of Jack on a clear, warm summer day at Hoosier Pass in Colorado. Make sure whoever is doing the spreading is riding a bicycle. :)

Disposition of Assets
As denoted in my Last Will and Testament, as amended, any investments and other assets are to be liquidated upon my death and aggregated with any cash and cash equivalents into a common fund. The designated trustee is then charged with disbursing moneys from this common fund to pay for the Service as described below. Any remaining funds are to be used to pay for an all-expenses-paid, two-week vacation for my friends and family anywhere in the world. Have fun guys!

Service
I don't want any corny solemnity, depressing speeches or any of that standardized, gloomy funerary bullshit at any service you guys have for me. I want people to celebrate LIFE that day.

I picture a wide open field filled with wild flowers somewhere in the heart of the Shenandoah Valley. Everyone will be sitting on blankets, enjoying a delicious picnic while listening to awesome live music. No one should come in black. Wearing shorts and t-shirts will be encouraged. There will be a games section for the kids, tons of balloons, and an assortment of tasty desserts.

And, for God's sake, make sure you get a liquor license! I want people to drink their fill of wine and spirits, to dance, laugh, make love, and sing long into the night.

I want some of you to love so much on that day that you welcome a new life into this world nine months hence.

GOODBYE
Saying goodbye is never easy. But know that I am leaving this world after having found something precious and beautiful: genuine love. Love for my family. Love for my friends. Love for my fellow man. Love for myself.

When it is all said and done I died having lived my life on my own terms and without regrets. And that's more than most people can say.

Goodbye.

Jack

[Reflections introductory post]

Wine Simplicity

2009-08-03T14:18:00.003-04:00

As I struggle to adapt to life off the road, I am finding myself slowly but deliberately seduced by the simple pleasures flowing in abundance here in Sonoma, California. These past several days have been filled with warm sunshine, the laughter of friends, and an endless supply of Pinot, Chardonnay, and Cabernet. Not to mention some pairing essentials: crackers, salame, fruit, cheese, chocolate, salmon, preserves, olives, etc...

For a recovering yuppie who has gone to his share of wine tastings and still barely knows the difference between Merlot and Cabernet, Sonoma has been a revelation.

The End of the Road is Only the Beginning

2009-07-25T01:12:00.006-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 81=69.75

Total: 3,681.53

Mountain Home, ID to Eugene OR: Desert Happiness and Other Stories

2009-07-23T19:11:00.017-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 70=REST; Day 71=45.92; Day 72=76.33; Day 73=57.27; Day 74=59.75; Day 75=REST; Day 76=REST; Day 77=70.25; Day 78=63.94; Day 79=79.48 Day 80=52.32

Total So Far: 3,611.76

Inspiration: Eminem; True Blood; Beethoven's 5th (Karajan); Paul Simon; ABBA (yes, that ABBA); Weeds; Rolling Stones; The Wire; Howard Stern; Fiona Apple; Led Zeppelin

Spirits: scared; humbled; focused; inspired; contemplative

Things Seen On the Road: several porcupines; scorpions; dust storm; the open desert; a gang of seemingly wild horses ready to charge; the Sisters off in the distance; the misty mountains of Oregon.

Favorite Quotes: (1) older woman who opened her door for me in the desert after running out of water: “My gosh, you look terrible!” (2) talking to myself, out loud, in a dark motel room after spending four hours in the ER because of dehydration/heat stroke: “Ok, that was stupid”

TRIP SO FAR
No question about it. It's been a crazy couple of weeks. And here I thought I would just cross the Oregon border and immediately hit some of those picture-perfect Oregon forests on my way to a picture-perfect splashdown in the Pacific. But I guess that just wasn't in the cards...:

*Dehydration: As explained in an earlier post, I had a bit of a scare in the Oregon desert last week. All I can say is that I walked away from the experience with a new appreciation and respect for mother nature. Plus a healthy suspicion of my own physical limits.

*Desert Happiness: Possible death aside, I've experienced some beautiful desert scenery these past couple of weeks. Leaving Burns, Oregon, I made my way over to Hampton, my first stop in a two day jaunt towards Bend. This was a 130 mile stretch with absolutely no services, which meant that I had to carry two day's worth of water and food. The road was pretty desolate but replete with a stunning backdrop of sagebrush, wild flowers and reddish rock formations long-weathered by thousands of years of erosion. Entering the town I made camp behind an abandoned general store and had myself a PB&J sandwich, all the while listening to Beethoven's 5th. I can't explain it but for some reason a smile came over my face. I've had these moments on this trip before...moments of pure joy and exhilaration that are totally genuine and spontaneous. These are moments that I will never forget.

Did I mention that I did not see a single person during the 16 hours I spent in Hampton ?

*Wild Horses: coming to a desert plateau after a particularly long climb I was greeted by a strange sight. On my right, behind a barbwire fence running the length of what I suspected was public land were half a dozen horses. They stopped grazing as soon as they spotted me and then things got a little ominous. They quickly closed ranks, snorted loudly, stomped their hooves and slowly advanced to where I was standing. I know there are probably no wild horses left in the lower 48...still, these beauties scared the crap out of me.

*Spotting the Sisters: After more than a week in the desert there is no more joyous sight than the Three Sisters off in the distance. I laughed out loud when I first spotted them and they have been constant companions ever since. Love those mountains.

WISH YOU WERE HERE

A little taste of the desert for your viewing pleasure:

I jumped into this river to cool off after going over the Santiam Pass in Oregon:

Take a look at how green Oregon can get after passing through the desert:

PHOTO ROLL

State of the Blog: Communication

2009-07-21T21:37:00.005-04:00

[image: http://www.its.dot.gov/]

Just a quick note to assure everyone that I am doing my best to respond to all your emails, tweets and facebook messages. A week in the desert, crappy to no reception, and my recent health scare all worked to create a pretty extensive backlog. If you have tried to communicate with me over the past several weeks be assured that you will hear from me soon.

I will probably have to rethink the way I handle communications going forward. The blog continues to grow at an exponential rate and it is getting harder and harder to respond to you guys in real time. I have a feeling this will become a non-issue once this trip is over but if you have any suggestions on how to improve things let me know.

Take care everyone!

On Not Wanting to be a Pussy

2009-07-17T18:12:00.009-04:00

Those of you who are following me via Twitter and Facebook know that I had a bit of a scare yesterday. After spending four hours in the emergency room and surviving a night of sleepless self-inquisition I figured it made sense to go over what happened.

WHAT TRANSPIRED
Leaving my starting point, I immediately hit some pretty serious hills. This was a bit unexpected. I had been told there would be some hills ahead but that the road would wind through a valley for most of the day. By the time I summited my fourth hill I had climbed over three thousand solid feet under a hot, merciless sun. I stopped at the summit to catch my breath and find some shade. As I drank from one of my water bottles I realized I was now left with a bottle and a half of water and I still had close to 30 miles left to ride (I was near mile 28 by that point).

By mile 40 the road flattened out and I started to hallucinate. The sky suddenly appeared more ominous and turned a darker shade of red. The road became malleable, like a live snake that quivered ahead towards the horizon. From somewhere inside me came a voice that was firm and clear: “Jack, you are in trouble.”

I understood what that voice meant. I really did. But I had very few options. The sun was beating down hard and the temperature was still climbing. There was no place where I could stop and take refuge. There wasn't a house, a barn or even a tree around for miles and everywhere I looked I saw barbed wire fences on either side of the road. It was like I was in the middle of an open-air prison.

At mile 45 I stopped next to an electricity pole. Angling my body along the edges of it's shadow I drank deeply from my water bottle and closed my eyes. I told myself that I only had 13 miles to go. Looking down, I realized I now had less than a quarter of a bottle of water left. “That's just going to have to do,” I told myself.

Here's an iPhone photo of my bike taken from the meager shade of the electricity pole:

At mile 50 I began wheezing uncontrollably and stopped to take another break. I propped my bike on a metal marker. Sitting on the other side of the bike, I contorted my arms and legs to fit the shade of my bike as much as possible. I then grabbed my water bottle and drank the last drop of water I had.

Here's a photo of the road from where I was sitting:

At that point, it was clear to me that if I stayed where I was I would eventually succumb to heat stroke. I could try to flag down a car but traffic had been light to non-existent all day. The only viable option was to keep going. While getting back on the bike meant spending more energy, at least it gave me the possibility of reaching shelter.

I was delirious when I got back on the bike. Two miles later I spotted the first roadside tree I'd seen in over 20 miles. I angled my bike over and collapsed on some grass right underneath. I remember looking up as leaves rustled in the wind and shadows filled endless crevices of brown bark and green branches. I was talking to myself at that point. I remember arguing with my mom about something; trying to convince a junior partner at my old firm that a document I had drafted was what he wanted; wiping tears from the face of an old lover.

After 15-20 minutes I started to come around a bit. I looked around for the first time and realized that I was right in front of a farmhouse. Relief washed over me in waves. I struggled to my feet and made my way over to the porch door. I knocked politely, but firmly. An older women answered the door and let me in immediately. She brought me to the kitchen where she filled a 32 ounce container with tap water. I drank it all in one gulp. She filled it again. This time I drank it more deliberately. But I finished it. I went outside and grabbed two of my water bottles and filled those in the sink. Thanking my host, I propped myself underneath the tree again to consider my options.

I now had less than 6 miles to go and was already feeling much better. If I got going again I could get to my destination in less than 20 minutes and avoid even more heat later on in the day. I felt dehydration would be less of an issue now that I was packing water again. So I got on my bike and started pedaling.

Six miles later I stumbled into town, a shadow of my former self. The hallucinations had come back in full force and I was delirious again. And I had finished all of my water. Again. At that point, I really had no choice but to ask someone how I could get to the nearest ER.

THINKING BACK
Thinking back, there are probably several reasons why I ended up in the ER yesterday:

*Terrain Ignorance: Heading into yesterday's ride, I only had a vague sense of the terrain ahead of me. Normally, I try to nail down what each day's ride is going to look like with the help of the GPS function on my iPhone and a quick search on google maps. But this became nearly impossible the moment I crossed the Oregon border. Without good phone reception there really wasn't much I could do besides ask locals what lay ahead.

*Geographic Ignorance: Having decided to stay off the established Transamerica trail I didn't have a clue that Eastern Oregon is basically composed of a large desert dotted with some pretty significant mountain ranges. And here I was picturing towering mountains full of green vegetation, mist and frequent afternoon rains...

*Heat: The temperature in eastern Oregon has remained in the high 90's this past week. Lucky for me, road temperatures have been far higher because of the heat reflected by asphalt and surrounding mountains. At one point yesterday, my bike computer showed a temperature of 111F. Even adjusting for a discrepancy I'm pretty certain I was riding in temperatures exceeding 105F.

*Getting Up Late: I didn't get much sleep the night before. I camped next to a pretty active highway and woke up every time a car shot past. I eventually left my starting point about 8:30 am local time. It was already in the mid 80s at that point.

*Tire Flat: While I bought two new tires just recently, I decided to use one for the rear wheel and keep one in reserve. The front wheel had had only one flat since Virginia and I figured I would ride it until the tire was nice and worn. Lucky for me, I got my second flat just yesterday, around mile 20. It took me 25 minutes to change it and patch the tube. Meanwhile, the heat was getting worse and worse...

PROVING THAT I AM NOT A PUSSY
Beyond this stuff there is one overarching reason why I ended up in the emergency room yesterday: my absolute, constant and overarching obsession with proving that I am not a pussy. That I have more balls than anyone else. That when things get tough I just need to dig deep and push myself to the brink. That when confronted with something that is seemingly insurmountable my first reaction is to stick out my middle finger, yell out a firm “Fuck YOU!” and hit it head-on with every ounce of strength I can muster.

This mentality has served me well over the years. In some ways, it is the reason I was able to survive a pretty dysfunctional childhood. It is the reason I excelled academically, even as I poked my finger in the eye of more than one teacher/professor. It is the reason I have crossed the country on a bicycle, by myself, carrying an extra 30 pounds of stuff most people would have sent home a long time ago.

When things got rough yesterday I did everything in my power to avoid being a pussy. I rode on when I probably should have stopped and waited for a passing car. I rode on when I noticed that my water supplies were too low. I rode on when every part of my body was immobilized by fatigue and dehydration.

On the other hand, I can't help but see a great deal of irony in all of this. I may have put myself in a dangerous situation because I, stupidly, wanted to prove that I was stronger than the terrain, the geography, the heat, and the desert itself. But it was that same intense determination that helped me push forward towards safety when I could have just given up completely.

POSTCRIPT
As I got off my bike in front of the clinic yesterday I looked due east towards the desert that could have killed me. Slowly raising my right hand I extended my middle finger and muttered under my breath a raspy, but firm “Fuck You.”

Reflections (3): Relationship Checklist

2009-07-14T20:14:00.006-04:00

[image: fotothing.com]

JACK'S LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST

2006
*Super hot
*Brilliant
*Great in bed (i.e., adventurous in every way)
*From the right kind of background [i.e., someone from a “good family” (i.e., good values) who comes from a certain “class,” and is of a certain “race”]
*Subservient to all of my needs and aspirations
*Willing to put up with any and all of my indiscretions
*Willing to accept that, while I am a “great catch,” I am emotionally closed in some very fundamental ways
*Willing to accept that I will spend a significant time with my friends on a regular basis

2009
*Super hot
*Brilliant
*Great in bed {i.e., adventurous in almost every way [threesomes and other joint third-party activities are now, sadly (but prudently), excluded]}
*From the right kind of background [i.e., someone from a “good family" (i.e., good values) and who is of a certain “race”]
*Willing to accept that I will spend a significant time with my friends on a regular basis
*Anti-materialistic, anti-consumerist and a strong supporter/adherent of a simple living lifestyle
*Not afraid to embrace adventure and world-travel
*Passionate lover of music, literature, and film
*Open to yoga, meditation, and deep spirituality

I guess that's progress.

[On Love post]

[Reflections introductory post]

Time Off to Mountain Home, ID: Uncertainty, Fighting Hail and Winds and Other Stories

2009-07-12T18:35:00.020-04:00

Miles Per Day: Time off to rent a cabin and explore Colorado via car; Day 54=62.37; Day 55=50.15; Day 56=60.00; Day 57= REST; Day 58=REST; Day 59=45.03; Day 60=44.99; Day 61=68.21; Day 62=REST; Day 63=REST; Day 64=53.10; Day 65=49.96; Day 66=59.21; Day 67=84.21; Day 68=61.56; Day 69=65.90.

Total So Far: 3,106.51

Inspiration: Pink Floyd; Eminem; Paul Simon; Beethoven's 6th (Karajan); Coltrane; Madonna; Johnny Cash [by far my favorite music on this trip]; The Wire [without question, one of the best dramas ever filmed].

Spirits: drained; strong; homesick; fearful; indomitable

Things Seen On the Road/During Time Off: desert hills of southern Wyoming; northern Colorado Rocky Mountain range; mama duck and little chicks crossing the road; a hawk picking up a field mouse right off the road; antelope and gophers galore.

Favorite Quotes: (1) gold prospector in southwestern Wyoming in response to a question about what it was like to grown up in Detroit: “I loved it, even with all the niggers around;” (2) gold prospector after I mentioned that I was hungry and needed to get some food [paraphrasing]: “Here, have this sandwich. I'm not going to have time to eat it...have to get home to feed my rabbits.”

UNCERTAINTY
The past couple of weeks have unleashed a roller coaster of emotions, most of them centered on whether I would even be capable of finishing this trip. It's really all my fault. As you might recall, I took 10 days off from cycling to rent a cabin and explore Colorado by car. And while it was a respite full of beautiful scenery, good food and welcome rest, it was also an excuse to avoid any physical exertion of any kind. I should have realized that 10 days away from riding would weaken my muscles and that I would require a bit of training to get back to par. Three days of 50+ miles later the pain in both of my knees was unbearable. I could barely get to my destination that third day and practically waddled my bike the last 3 miles to a motel. An absolute depression descended on me that day. For the first time in a long time I was uncertain about so many things. And not just about finishing this trip.

But not to worry. Two days rest, slow but deliberate exercises + yoga did the trick. Two weeks later I feel great. Better than great. I have never felt this strong and have never had this level of conditioning in my entire life.

TRIP SO FAR
It's been a while since my last trip update. It would be impossible to cover every significant story on this leg of this trip, but here are a couple of highlights:

*Country/Western Tunes: Somewhere near Rock Springs, Wyoming, I stopped at a late night bar for a bite to eat. Little did I know that a pretty good country/western band would play that night. Favorite tune of the night, the hilarious “You Would Never Catch Me at Brokeback Mountain.”

*Rain Simplicity: It has been amazing to watch storms on this leg of the trip. Heading west, I have seen gangs of storm clouds develop on the horizon. The more and more I pedal the more defined they become until I can actually see the outer edges of the storm above me. Even more impressive are the rain bands spraying jets of water every which way, like fingers stroking the ground below.

*Southern Wyoming Desert Terrain: The terrain of southern Wyoming is rather impressive. It is definitely high desert, with a twinge of the Grand Canyon to boot. There are hills that tower above you filled with a deep red hue and crevices that betray thousands of years or erosion.

*Fighting Hail and Winds: Heading past Green River, Wyoming, I spot a band of rainclouds off to the southwest. Heading west, with strong headwinds I pray that the storm passes south of where I am heading. Up ahead, the road starts forking southwest. I gulp. Within five minutes I am stopped dead in my tracks by the fiercest wind I have ever experienced on this trip. As I get my rain jacket on the hail starts falling loudly. Quickly, I unfurl my blue tarp (the same one you have seen in videos of previous storms) and without any place to tie it to I place it over my head and over the side of my bike. I push hard against the wind without much success, listening to the sounds of hundreds of projectiles hitting firmly and loudly. Suddenly, the wind gets underneath me and captures the tarp in its clutches. In a split second, one side of the tarp slaps me hard in the face before the entire thing just slips into the air and flies out of view. I have no choice but to huddle in a fetal position next to my bike for next 20 minutes until the hail stops and the wind subsides.

WISH YOU WERE HERE

Country/Western Band: Anyone a fan of O Brother Where Art Thou?

Some Wildlife For Your Viewing Pleasure:

Rain Band Just Miles Away:

4th of July at Kemmerer, Wyoming:

PHOTO ROLL

Reflections (2): The FUCK post

2009-07-05T15:36:00.004-04:00

After leaving a highly-paid job, giving away money I don't really need, and selling/donating most of my worldly possessions, I have come to a place in my life where meaningful clarity is attainable. I still have a long way to go but as of now there are certain things that are crystal clear:

FUCK people who claim to garner even an ounce of happiness from purchasing yet another “thing” they don't really need, EVEN AS they head out to a job they actively despise JUST SO that they can have the cash (or credit?) to purchase that very “thing” in the first place.

FUCK business suits, conference calls, billable hours, and making partner.

FUCK people who measure their self-worth by the size of their house, the make of their car, how far they have climbed the corporate ladder, the schools they attended, the restaurants they frequent and/or the people “they know.” These poor, insecure assholes are living in a dreamworld with shaky foundations, their lives ever-dependent on how they measure up against every other poor, insecure asshole in their sad little world of pretentious make-believe.

FUCK having 2 weeks of vacation a year.

FUCK the adrenaline rush you get when you answer a partner's question at 11:00 pm via Blackberry.

FUCK people who can't wait to tell you how late they worked the night before.

FUCK money. Seriously.

FUCK chicks that are suddenly more open to banging you once they realize you have money.

FUCK dudes who are suddenly more respectful when they realize that you attended Harvard Law School.

FUCK office politics, gossipy associates and awkward conversations with senior partners at firm functions.

FUCK having a house so large that you are forced to hire a cleaning person. If you think about it, you are pretty much FUCKED because you don't have the time to clean the place yourself BECAUSE you are working 80 hours a week in order to afford that large house in the first place.

FUCK that horrible feeling you get on Sunday when you know that you have to start all that office bullshit again on Monday.

FUCK that horrible feeling you get on Saturday when you know you have to work on Sunday.

FUCK me for having taken so long to figure it all out.

[Reflections introductory post]

Pueblo, CO to Time Off: Spotting a BEAR, Spotting a FOX, Delicious Balls in My Mouth and Other Stories

2009-06-24T19:23:00.016-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 49=REST; Day 50=58.00; Day 51=59.34; Day 52=48.92; Day 53=49.55; Time off to rent a cabin and explore Colorado via car.

Total So Far: 2,401.82

Inspiration: Lynyrd Skynyrd; heading down past Hoosier's Pass listening to Beethoven's 9th (Karajan); Howard Stern; Cat Stevens; Jane's Addiction (mostly Ritual); Into Thin Air; and, of course, John Denver.

Spirits: intensely emotional; happy; amazed; insignificant in the face of so much natural beauty.

Things Seen On the Road/During Time Off: a BROWN BEAR!; a WILD FOX!; a buck and a doe; discarded antlers; a deer carcass that had clearly been eaten recently; the Rocky Mountains.

Favorite Quotes: (1) girl behind the counter at an ice cream shop after I asked for yet another 3-scoop cone of vanilla and chocolate ice cream: “You want ANOTHER one?” (2) my response to the girl behind the counter at ice cream shop: “I'm kinda biking across the country and need all the calories I can get. You know what, can I actually get two?”

WILDLIFE SIMPLICITY
I just can't believe it. Just yesterday I saw a brown bear. AND a wild fox. All within 3 minutes. Unbelievable.

It started innocently enough. The guy who owns the cabin I rented here in central Colorado mentioned that he likes to leave dog food right outside the cabin so he can photograph wild foxes. The cabin is, in fact, filled with photos of foxes and elk taken right outside the cabin door. Intrigued, I decided to leave a bit of dog food on the ground every so often in the hopes of spotting a fox or two.

One day this week, as I was grilling some pretty tasty steaks in the back of the cabin, I noticed an unmistakable furryness underneath my rented SUV. Sure enough, it was a wild fox staring longingly at some of the dog food scattered on the ground. He was tentative, but he eventually gathered the courage to approach the food and began munching away. Here's video of the fox munching for your viewing pleasure:

NOT THREE MINUTES after the wild fox had finished munching and had walked out of sight I spotted something much larger and furrier out of the corner of my eye. It was a BROWN BEAR. This beautiful creature was walking slowly along the edge of the tree line, not 25 feet from where I was standing. My jaw dropped as I scrambled to find my camera. I will treasure this video for the rest of my life:

Here's some more video further down the mountain. Notice the excitement of some of the locals who gathered around to see the bear:

[for the record, I am now aware that it is not a good idea to leave food out for wild animals. In my defense, (1) I am a total city boy and generally don't know any better; (2) I was following the advice of a local]

TRIP SO FAR
You would think that seeing a wild bear and a wild fox would top the list of things that have happened on this leg of the trip. What's really amazing is that they probably don't.

*Ascending the Rockies and Crossing the Continental Divide: The moment I left Pueblo I knew this part of the trip would be special. There is nothing like seeing the snow-capped Rockies off in the distance and realizing that with every revolution of your pedals they are getting closer and closer. By the time I reached Currant Creek Pass at 9,400 feet I just couldn't contain my emotions. Something happened to me on that pass. I don't want to go into it, but I will say that it was very powerful and I will never forget it.

Later on, the sense of accomplishment when I reached Hoosier Pass at 11,542 feet was palpable. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I had gotten to the top of the continental divide. On a bicycle.

*Stealth Camping: I don't know what it is with Colorado ski towns but by the time I got to Breckenridge I realized that a guy on a bike is persona non grata. Brechenridge, in particular, does not allow public camping of any kind and when I was there not a single church allowed me to camp on their grounds. I basically had no choice but to go further north to look for public lands and/or a secluded place to camp for the night, AFTER having made it over Hoosier Pass. But, hey, there could have been worse places for me to stealth camp:

Here's some video I shot the morning after. Notice that the area is surrounded by brush and trees. I would be surprised if anyone could have spotted my campsite:

*I love balls in my mouth: Nothing like heading to the Buckhorn Exchange restaurant in Denver to try some delectable dishes. On the menu was the following: Porterhouse steak, ostrich, buffalo, elk, Rocky Mountain Oysters (bull testicles, for you philistines), and alligator. For the record, the elk and the rattlesnake were just awesome. Oh, and those balls were delicious:

WISH YOU WERE HERE

The beauty of Colorado:

PHOTO ROLL

State of the Blog

2009-06-22T15:53:00.004-04:00

Just a quick note from beautiful Colorado.

Those of you who are following via Twitter and/or Facebook know that I've decided to rent a cabin and explore Colorado via car for a week. Expect a trip update with new photos and videos very soon. In the meantime, I wanted to remind you that there are other ways to follow along:

1. Twitter Updates: I've added an application on the upper-right hand corner of the blog that streams updates from Twitter. This way, you can keep up with what's going on even if the blog hasn't been updated. If you want real-time info on the trip and what I'm up to feel free to add me on Twitter.

2. Facebook: Adding me on Facebook is also a great way to access real-time photos, updates and other information. At this point, there is probably more activity on Facebook than even on the blog itself.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Reflections (1): I've Been a Selfish Asshole

2009-06-18T21:32:00.004-04:00

How can I put this delicately...I've been a selfish asshole.

I've been a selfish asshole to certain people in my family.

I've been a selfish asshole as a lawyer.

I've been a selfish asshole to countless anonymous and not so anonymous women.

I've been a selfish asshole to people I have loved.

I've been a selfish asshole to people I love.

I've been a selfish asshole to complete strangers.

Even when it looked like I was anything but selfish the asshole in me was, somehow, being selfish and self-serving.

[Reflections introductory post]

Ness City, KS to Pueblo, CO: One Night Stand and Other Stories

2009-06-14T23:45:00.014-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 43=REST; Day 44=57.66; Day 45=50.20; Day 46=60.99; Day 47=64.17; Day 48=54.35

Total So Far: 2,186.01

Inspiration: Pink Floyd (have a new understanding and appreciation for the “Uncomfortably Numb” track); Billy Joel; of all things, Handel's Messiah (ECO); the unbelievable kindness and attentiveness of some of the readers of this blog (fur ball a.k.a. Fluffy thanks you all); Family Guy on Hulu; public libraries; Plato's Republic

Spirits: emotional; pensive; heartbroken; absolutely inspired

Things Seen On the Road: tons of snakes; wild onions; cacti; rabbits and probably some prairie dogs(?); more and more cyclists passing me on the road going East towards Yorktown, VA.

Favorite Quotes: (1) sheriff of Eads, CO after asking him to help me find the owner of the stray dog that crashed in my tent in the middle of a thunderstorm [paraphrasing] “listen, I've been doing this for over 11 years now...what you need to do is to just go and leave it alone,” (2) operator at sheriff's office who answered the phone the night a stray dog crashed in my tent: “do you mind calling back in an hour? We have a tornado now on the ground and all available resources are occupied at the moment.”

MY ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH FUR BALL
Meeting Fur Ball
I was finishing my dinner at a pizza joint in Eads, Colorado when the waitress mentioned that the county was now in the middle of a tornado warning. I gulped down the rest of my dinner, paid my bill and rushed out to the public park right in front of the sheriff's office.

The rain had already started by the time I took out my tent poles. As I was staking down my rain fly I spotted a fluff of fur out of the corner of my eye. I turned and saw the cutest and saddest thing I have seen on this trip thus far: a small, wet, shivering, smelly ball of fur trying to stay dry underneath a bush besides a tool shed. She looked very scared. As soon as I spotted her, our eyes met and it was love at first sight. She rushed over and followed me as I finished setting up camp. All the while I looked around to see if her owner was nearby. “Maybe she got loose while she was being walked,” I thought. But there wasn't a soul in sight.

At this point I considered my options. I could leave fur ball out in the middle of a huge thunderstorm and a possible tornado in the hopes that her owner would find her. Or I could let her in the tent, at least until the storm passed. The latter seemed like the only real option. I quickly got inside the tent and fur ball followed me without missing a beat. Within a minute she was curled on my lap, tittering and asleep:

Reaching Out
Those of you who are following this trip via twitter and facebook know what happened next. I first called the sheriff's office to see if they could find fur ball's owner. The operator who responded basically asked that I call in an hour because a tornado had touched down in an adjacent county. Perturbed, I called, emailed, texted everyone I could think of. In the end, there was nothing to do but hunker down for the night and wait out the storm.

And what a storm it was. It was, by far, the strongest thunderstorm I have ever experienced. There was hail, lightning, thunder, and winds so unbelievable one side of my tent almost came out of the ground. Here's just a taste of what fur ball and I experienced that night:

Doggie Beer Goggles
The next morning I awoke to the sounds of birds overhead and a bright, blue Colorado sky. I immediately started packing up. I figured the quicker I could gather my stuff together the faster I could figure out what to do with fur ball. As I was putting away my sleeping bag it became clear that fur ball was having second thoughts about our one night stand. Gone were the snuggles, the hand licking and the search for warmth on top of my bare chest. She was suddenly more cautious and not all that thrilled about being near me. I guess all that rain and thunder had give her some serious beer goggles the night before. She probably awoke to find that my condo was made of plastic and my Ferrari was actually a Surley touring bicycle.

But hey, all was not lost. I immediately took out a couple of pizza slices and our romance was back on track. Say what you will about Jack...he always takes care of his one night stands:

Decision Time
After breakfast I got a call from the sheriff who basically said that leaving would be the best thing. He felt fur ball would gradually make her way back home now that the storm was over. I now faced a pretty stark decision. If I left I could get out on the road fairly early and make a ton of mileage before the hot sun made riding unpleasant. On the other hand, could I handle the heartbreak of seeing fur ball follow my bike out of town? Besides, who's to say she would even make her way back home? What if she got hit by a car? What if she was picked up by someone who would mistreat her?

In the end, I grabbed fur ball, cradled her in my arms and spent the next hour or so walking the streets of Eads, Colorado, looking for her owner. Eventually, a very sleepy 12 year old girl said she thought the dog belonged to a family who lived two blocks away. Pretty soon fur ball's tail began to wag and I knew I as onto something. I knocked on a door and a very relieved mom answered the door. “Fluffy,” a.k.a fur ball was back home:

THE TRIP SO FAR
Temporary dog napping aside, the stories keep on rolling:

*Setting up my tent near a public swimming pool in Tribune, Kansas I experienced something truly magical. The day had been particularly overcast, something that had made riding all that much easier. But as soon as I stopped to set up camp I noticed that the clouds were parting out towards the west. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. Right along the horizon, cumulus nimbus clouds were bunched together in a chain of white and gray. Above was a sea of dark, ominous clouds. And through these shone the setting sun. Check out the Photo Roll and Wish You Were Here sections of this post for a little taste of this amazing moment.

*About half an hour after crossing into Colorado I noticed that the vegetation along the road had changed dramatically. Grasslands had been replaced by cacti and other desert plants and flowers. It is amazing how a change in altitude and terrain can completely alter the landscape. Check out samples of the vegetation I encountered in the Photo Roll section of this post.

*Right on the edge of the Colorado border I noticed several funnels south of the highway. These were localized dust funnels that were probably less than 10 yards in diameter. Throughout I kept hoping that they wouldn't grow into something much bigger.

WISH YOU WERE HERE
Watching a sunset in Tribute, Kansas. This video does not do the experience justice. Note that the background sounds are from a girls softball game nearby.

Colorado terrain.

PHOTO ROLL

Reflections

2009-06-10T18:45:00.003-04:00

This month marks the one year anniversary of Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity. As explained in an earlier post, this anniversary has given me the impetus to draft a series of summary posts that I hope to publish over the next several weeks.

These so-called Reflections represent an attempt, however flawed, to summarize certain truths I have embraced over the past year. Some emerged unspoiled and resplendent as I packed up the remnants of a life of excess I no longer desired. Others materialized in fits and starts as I stared out into the darkness of Washington DC from a drab office window, my only respite from the madness of billable hours, office politics and canceled vacations. Still others were plucked from the smile of a poor Virginian farmer, the kindness of a Kentucky waitress, and the gentleness of a small turtle I found on the road somewhere in Missouri. These Reflections are not conclusions per se. They are something more precious and fragile: they are the beginning of genuine understanding.

For me, the most important Reflection of all is that while the road is nowhere near it's end, I'm closer to reaching my destination. And that's what's important.

Garnett, KS to Ness City, KS: The Beauty of Kansan Skies, Meeting Kermit, and Other Stories

2009-06-07T18:55:00.017-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 36=REST; Day 37=50.13; Day 38=66.2; Day 39=67.51; Day 40=47.22; Day 41=45.93; Day 42=65.89

Total So Far: 1,898.64

Inspiration: Johnny Cash singing a duet with Bob Dylan on “Girl From the North Country” [current favorite song? Jury is still out]; the christe eleison on Bach's Mass in B (Karajan); the skies of Kansas; the Facebook iphone ap (amazing how quickly I can connect with people at this point); Amish/Mennonite sausage and pie; Rescue Me (just finished season 4; totally bummed there are no more Netflix disks for the series)

Spirits: excited; amazed; patient; mischievous; unstoppable.

Things Seen On the Road: frogs and toads galore; some of the most beautiful cloud formations I have seen in years; more and more bike tourist (at least since I rejoined the Transam trail); a dust cloud that covered the entire sky in South Western Kansas.

Favorite Quotes: (1) a college geography professor who started in Phoenix and is heading East after I told him I was heading West, AGAINST the Western winds: “Yeah...good luck with that;” (2) waitress after I told her I was camping at a local church [paraphrasing] “well, they are forecasting 60-70 mph winds and hail tonight. Did you know that that church is right below the flood plane?”

THE BEAUTY OF KANSAN SKIES
There is something so beautiful about Kansan skies. It is a beauty borne out of the flatness of the terrain, the openness of the horizon and the slow, deliberate march of white figures across the sky. Riding a bike Westward provides a person with an unparalleled vantage point. You get to see the first formations right over the horizon at first light. They emerge in all sorts of shapes and sizes, hugging each other tightly at first, then exploding over your head like an army of cotton candy fluff balls ready for battle.

Do check out a sampling of these formations in the photo roll section of this post. While they don't really do the experience justice, just a fistful of Kansan beauty is enough to cure even the most dreadful Monday-morning-I-can't-fucking-believe-I'm-still-working-at-this-mind-numbing-job blues.

THE TRIP SO FAR

The collection of stories continues unabated:

*It's Not Easy Being Green: While camping on the grounds of a Methodist church in Stafford, KS, I made friends with a small frog. Let's call him Kermit. This little critter sat on my Goretex rain jacket while I set up camp and did not move until I had to physically grab him and put him on the grass next to my tent. A half hour later while inside my tent I looked up and to my surprise I spotted Kermit's shadow through my rain fly. Kermit kept me company until I fell asleep that night.

*Bonds of Brotherhood: Getting into El Dorado, KS, I stopped at a McDonalds to fill up my water bottles and access the internet. I set up my laptop on a large, circular table off to the side and quickly got into a conversation with an elderly veteran who wanted to know where I was going. One by one, elderly guys came into the McDonalds and sat down at my table. Very quickly I realized that I was interrupting what was clearly a daily meeting of local veterans and their friends. They all come and sit at the same table every day at around 4pm to talk, laugh and otherwise maintain their bonds of brotherhood. I have to say that it was a real privilege to talk to these guys, even if it was just for one hour.

*Heaven: Heaven, quite simply, is Yoder, KS. Quite by accident, I had designated that small town near Witchita as a convenient stopping point. Turns out that the town has very active Amish and Mennonite communities and, by extension, establishments boasting some of the best food on earth. I spent approximately 8 hours at the Carriage Crossing restaurant where I had the best sausages I have had in years and 3 helpings of fantastic cherry pie with vanilla ice cream. In between, I took in the horse and buggy scene, dudes with some pretty developed beards and the sounds of spoken German in the air. BTW, Amish women in traditional dresses are just hot.

*Outrunning a Thunderstorm: Those of you on Facebook and Twitter might remember how I scrambled to set up camp before a pretty serious thunderstorm hit near Yates Center, Kansas. I had originally been given permission by a local Methodist church to camp on their grounds but when I sat down for dinner at a local diner I was basically told that Armageddon was coming our way. The forecast called for a series of severe thunderstorms with 60-70 mph winds, hail and flash floods. On top of everything, my waitress told me that the Methodist church was below the flood plain. At that point I rushed over to the sheriff's office where I got an emergency permit to camp in the local park. I have to admit that I got a little worried when the officer pointed out where I could go inside the park in case of a tornado. I left the sheriff's office, picked up my dinner to go and rushed down to the park ASAP. I think it took me 7 minutes to set up camp and that's when the winds started to kick in. And YES, it is true. I set up my tent right underneath a couple of big trees and a power line.

WISH YOU WERE HERE

Inside my tent as a strong thunderstorm rages outside:

Biking on a highway in Kansas. You can definitely hear the strong headwinds any biker heading West has to contend with. Notice some grasslands off in the distance:

A thunderstorm approaching in the distance:

PHOTO ROLL

Lessons Learned (4): On Being Wrong

2009-06-04T21:47:00.003-04:00

[Image:personal.ceu.hu]

I am wrong. On a regular basis. Like everyone else.

It still amuses me to see how difficult it is for some people to admit that they are wrong. I guess it's just a fact of human nature. To uphold a specific choice, to articulate a particular belief, to lay one's ego on the table and declare to the world “this is right because I say it is right,” are all variations of one of the most fundamental expressions of the human condition: the need to reinforce one's world view in the face of another.

I don't think I have this problem. At least not anymore. In my personal life I do my best to keep an open mind and to admit when long-held views are no longer sound. I am convinced that this attitude has facilitated my embrace of voluntary simplicity as a lifestyle. I also believe it has also helped me remain even-handed when it comes to drafting, editing, maintaining, and managing this blog. But nobody is perfect. Looking back, there are definitely things that I wish I had done differently.

The following are instances in which I was just plain wrong. Would love to hear your thoughts on these and any others you can scrounge up:

*People's Values Matter: In retrospect, you could see it coming a mile away. At the time, I thought that sharing my thoughts on burning my law school diploma would be as simple as holding a camera and uploading a video on YouTube. I thought the message was clear: “this piece of paper, indeed, any piece of paper is, ultimately, meaningless; it is so meaningless that I can live my life without it.” I was wrong. I failed to see that, for certain people, burning a diploma appeared to be a rejection of education itself. If I had to do it over again, I would have flushed out my post further to include a more thorough discussion of my motivations. Better yet, maybe I should have burned that fucker and have never told anyone in the first place.

*Family Stuff Can Be Heavy: When I drafted a literary piece regarding my relationship with my mother people had all sorts of opinions. Some people felt the subject and the content was inappropriate for the blog. Others seemed to relish the opportunity to share their own horror stories involving members of their family. And then it got a little weird. More than a few people actually thought that I hated my mother with venomous rage and seemed to pass over that first “Rational Jack” section. These people seemed to have never been experienced (let alone expressed) anger at anyone in their family. More than a few failed to understand the literary bent of the piece. Looking back, I was wrong in that I did not include an introductory section explaining the purpose and underlying structure of the piece.

*Sexism Can Be Fun: Something similar happened with the “On Sexism: Women Should Know Their Place” post. Most people totally “got” that the cover photo and the title of the blog were efforts at tongue-in-cheek satire and appreciated the opportunity to express their views on the issue of sexism as it pertained to the blog. But there was definitely a segment of people who were outright upset and offended by the post. Some, I fear, would have been offended, regardless of the content of the post. Others, I think, recognized a fundamental problem with the post itself: the juxtaposition of the issue of political correctness (and corresponding sexist jokes) in a post purporting to be about sexism. I was wrong because I should have either (1) flushed out my thoughts regarding political correctness in some fashion, thereby providing a more solid introduction to the corny jokes at the end; or (2) not have included the jokes at all and left the issue of political correctness for the comments section or a separate post.

*Pictures of Hot Chicks Make People Angry: Or better yet, being frivolous with language and imagery is a recipe for misunderstanding. A good example of this was the “Girls Riding Mechanical Bulls are Hot” post. As some of the comments pointed out, the photos and some of the language used was overly provocative. Looking back, I still stand by my blog comments and would not change the overall presentation of that post. But I recognize that I was wrong in one respect: I should have limited the number of photos and should not have included the sentence “Seriously, my dear reader, can life get any simpler?” The multiple photos and that sentence in particular were unnecessary and trivialized the larger point I was trying to convey: Jack had a fun night in Memphis and it involved half-naked women riding a mechanical bull.

St. Mary, MO to Garnett, KS: Acting Like a Total Asshole and Other Stories

2009-06-01T17:49:00.016-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 27=43.36; Day 28=REST; Day 29=REST; Day 30=69.84; Day 31=60.94; Day 32=64.06; Day 33=47.38; Day 34=58.35; Day 35=46.30

Total So Far: 1,555.76

Inspiration: the humming and silent grunts of Glenn Gould in the Goldberg Variations recording; Dairy Queen ice cream; Johnny Cash's guitar in the Folsom Prison live album; Wilco; the instrumental in Dire Straits' On Every Street.

Spirits: calculating; inspired; fired up; strong; understanding.

Things Seen On the Road: more and more snakes crossing the road; a perfect rainbow; a replica of the General Lee car from the Dukes of Hazard; more Amish caravans.

Favorite Quotes: (1) female resident of a small town in MO to me at 6:15 am while drinking a beer: “Turn around...I want to see your ass!” (2) Gloria who was doing her laundry next to me somewhere in Festus, Mo: [paraphrasing] “I've had a hard time recently, but I'm going to keep on going. No matter what.”

ACTING LIKE A TOTAL ASSHOLE
I've had my first bad moment on this trip. All things considered, it wasn't such a big deal. If anything, it showed me that I can still act like a total asshole on a moment's notice.

It was at a cafe/bar somewhere near St. Mary, MO. I entered as I always do, wearing my bike helmet, biking shorts and a tight biking t-shirt. I was disheveled, sweaty and totally out of place. Usually, if I even get a reaction from locals it's because they are merely curious. Almost always someone comes by and asks where I am going, where I have been, if I have a place to stay, etc...It's these conversations that have made this trip so amazing and memorable.

Things didn't go quite as smoothly this time. The place was pretty empty, save for the waitress and some guys sitting at the end of the bar. As soon as I walked in, the waitress looked up and stared at me with some derision. I sat down on the bar and in a courteous, cheery manner asked for a menu. She seemed annoyed but slowly walked over with a menu before going back to talk to the locals at the other end of the bar. She never asked me if I wanted something to drink and since I was totally dehydrated I walked over and asked if I could get a glass of water. She rolled her eyes and said she would get me one in a minute. Twenty minutes later I walked over and asked for a glass of water again. With a pained look in her eyes she grabbed a glass and filled it with sink water. I took the opportunity to order food right there and then.

After I was served (about 45 minutes later), I looked around and realized I didn't have any utensils. Once again, I walked over and asked for utensils. The pained look on her face returned as she gathered a knife and fork and put them down on the bar. After I was done eating I asked politely for the check. “Huh?” she asked. “I was just wondering if you could give me the check?” She looked deliberately confused and very annoyed. “What?!” “Could I please get the check so that I can pay,” I said very slowly. “Check? Oh, you mean the bill.” She had a slight grin on her face as she wrote up the check and gave it to me.

By this point, I was pretty pissed. I got out just the right amount of cash for the bill, walked over to where she was standing and talking to the other locals. She looked up at me with a slight grin on her face. I put the check down on the bar with my cash and said: “Thank you very much. The food was fantastic.” I then took out a $20 bill out of my pocket and put it down forcefully on the bar so that everyone could see it. “And this is just a little something for you.” The grin on her face disappeared instantly as she looked down on the $20 bill. She looked completely shocked. I felt everyone else at the bar stare at the bill as well.

Without missing a beat I turned around and walked to the door. As I was walking out, a sheepish voice behind me yell, “thank you sir! Have a great trip!” I said nothing as I slammed the door behind me.

THE TRIP SO FAR
Being an asshole aside, I am still collecting some pretty amazing stories:

*Being Sexually Harassed: It was about 6:00 am when I walked into a diner looking for some breakfast. Two women were sitting by the bar nursing a beer and laughing uncontrollably. I sat nearby and we started talking. Turns out that one of them is battling breast cancer and has 5 kids that she hasn't seen in years. We talked about family, death, travel and everything in between. As I was leaving, she asked me how old I was. When I told her my age she said that I was only one year older than one of her sons. She then demanded that I turn around so that she could touch my ass. Somewhat nervously, I complied. After a good amount of sexual harassment I asked for a photo:

*Perfect Rainbow: It had been raining off and on for most of the day. I was heading down to a public park near Jefferson City, MO to camp when I spotted the most perfect rainbow I had seen in years. It ended over a lake right next to the park. What an amazing moment.

*Turtle Rescue: Turtles seem to cross the road on a pretty regular basis and more often than not become roadkill before they get to the other side. The sad truth is that I see at least a dozen turtle shells on the road each and every day. On my way to Sedalia I actually spotted a turtle slowly coming out of the brush. I hit my breaks, picked up the critter and deposited him on the other side of the road. I hope you guys would have done the same.

*Dehydration Danger: Somewhere near Sedalia, MO I lost the cap on one of my three water bottles. Heading to the Kansas border I found myself in a pretty scary situation. The terrain was surprisingly hilly, the dreaded Western winds started picking up, and the heat was unbearable. Within two hours I had run out of water and still had to bike 15 miles in order to reach Drexel, MO. It was tough, but I eventually reached Drexel where I had about a gallon of Gatorade at a gas station. I swore to be better prepared the next time around.

WISH YOU WERE HERE

Crossing the Ohio River into Illinois [this was a video I wanted to include in my last trip post but didn't have the bandwidth to upload when I finalized that post]:

Biking on an Interstate. Don't try this at home:

Marshlands in Western Missouri:

PHOTO ROLL

Lessons Learned (3): Inspiration vs. Someone Wants to Kill Me

2009-05-27T18:39:00.006-04:00

[Image: ploomy.com]

INSPIRATION
The following is an email I received a couple of weeks ago. It is similar to dozens of other emails I get every month from people from all over the world and from every walk of life. I treasure these emails because they demonstrate the strength and depth of the simple living movement. They are heartfelt, insightful, emotional, and, for me, inspirational. I am a different person today because of these emails. Seriously.
------------------------------------------------------------

from XXX XXXXX
to: radicalsimplicity@gmail.com
date: Mon, May 11, 2009 at 1:22 AM
subject: your blog... and life
mailed-by: gmail.com
signed-by: gmail.com

I have spent the last hour pouring over your blog, reading about the amazing changes you have made in your life, and found myself in tears for most of it. I’m not a lawyer so I have never experienced that type of lifestyle, but I do understand the desire to change your life, make things different. A couple of years ago I was laid off from my job, the best thing to ever happen to me. I spent the next 6 months free of any commitments and spent the time hiking and running and just about anything I wanted to try. It was heaven.

Now things are back to the way they were before- have a job I like but don’t love; debt that is crippling me; and it seems my passion for life has diminished. The past month I have been going over everything in my head, wishing I could get back to that life, and overwhelmed with regret. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do to change things, but reading your blog has given me hope for the first time in a long time. Thank you.

I see that you are on the road – relish that freedom and think often of how far you have come. You have done something that not many have the guts to do. Best wishes to you your life travels.

XXX
--------------------------------------------

SOMEONE WANTS TO KILL ME
The following is a string of messages sent to my Twitter account towards the beginning of my bike trip, most likely in response to my “On Sexism: Women Should Know Their Place” blog post. They were sent in conjunction with blog comments stating that (1) they now knew what my bike looked like; (2) they knew exactly where I was because they could access my Twitter and Facebook status and photo updates; and (3) they would actively do their best to kill me. I sent this person a very polite message telling them that I would be very much willing to chat with them to try and understand their point of view. Twice. They have yet to respond.

I debated whether to do a follow-up blog post focused on freedom of speech. I envisioned a string of links to all sorts of raunchy mainstream video clips but then I realized that just wasn't necessary. I think that when you resort to threats of violence you have already lost the argument. I also genuinely feel bad for this person. It is likely someone who has personal experience with domestic violence and has a great deal of misplaced anger.

That being said, if anything happens to me on this trip you all know where any investigation should start.
------------------------------------------

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack I hope you get mowed down by a semi. in the rain.2:57 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack then you won't be able to promote violence against women any longer, and the world will be a safer place.2:58 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack do the people that have been so helpful to you on your journey know that you promote and encourage domestic violence?3:00 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack Here's a joke for you- "once this wealthy lawyer went on a bike tour of the US after selling his townhouse."3:01 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack "This young man was a fan of violence against women and getting lots of attention on the internet."3:02 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack "the he was hit by a semi and the world was a much better place."3:03 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack you're fucking disgusting.3:04 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack I hope you're laughing your ass of at all the great "jokes" I just made. If not, you must have no sense of humor!3:26 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack I'm so funny, just like Chris Rock! Ha ha ha!3:28 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack- here's another great "joke", just like those great "jokes" you posted about beating women- I know what your bike looks like!3:30 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack And I know where you are! Hilarious, right?3:30 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack I'm so funny I can't even stand it! excuse me while I go email the password to this twitter account to all my friends3:32 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack so they can harrass your dumb ass too! and we can keep you laughing all the way across the country!3:33 PM May 7th from web

ihopeyougethit@radicaljack just don't laugh so hard you fall off your bike and get hit! That would be such a shame- NOT! LOL! God I'm "funny"!3:34 PM May 7th from web

Beaver Dam, KY to St. Mary, MO: Appreciating What's Right in Front of You

2009-05-25T12:24:00.011-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 20=REST; Day 21=44.11; Day 22=54.72; Day 23=33.32; Day 24=59.45; Day 26=52.95

Total So Far: 1,165.53

Inspiration: the silence of empty roads; Rescue Me; the owl right outside my tent in Eddyville, Il; Sepultura; sending myself Netflix DVDs to post offices via General Delivery; Counting Crows; hushpuppies;

Spirits: HOT; exalted; happy; determined; friendly.

Things Seen On the Road: gorgeous marshes on the banks of the Mississippi; a baby deer; curious road crews; 4 to 5 miles of road in the distance in a particularly flat area of Illinois.

Favorite Quotes: (1) Dwight talking about his 12 year-old son at a Murphysboro bar: “[paraphrasing]...so he wrote in his class essay that if he ever had to deal with Nazis he would use his AK-47. And suddenly they call me and tell me to that I had to go and talk to the principal...can you believe that!?...I mean, all he owns is a shotgun;” (2) someone at a breakfast joint in Beaver Dam, KY: “I wish I was young enough to get on a bike and head out there with you...sounds like a grand adventure.”

APPRECIATING WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU
For the first time since I started this trip I have allowed myself to fully comprehend how far I've come. In just 26 days I have biked over 1,000 miles and have crossed three states. I am now on Central time. That really blows me away.

But I can't let myself think beyond that. The way I have approached this trip is to break up the mileage into smaller, more manageable segments. Not knowing where I will be more than 3 days out forces me to focus on what's right in front of me and to live in the moment.

This is probably the most valuable lesson so far: forget about what's over the next hill...have the patience and the courage to realize that the most valuable things in life might actually be right in front of you.

TRIP SO FAR
The stories keep on piling up:

*Mud Play: After riding out of the ferry at Cave in Rock, Il, I got busy looking for a campsite. Taking a wrong turn, I found myself stuck in the mud right on the banks of the Ohio River. I got off my bike and started walking it out of the area but within minutes I could barely move it. The mud was starting to harden in the hot sun and I had no choice but to dig the stuff out with my bare hands. I then had to walk the bike up to the Cave-in-Rock state park for 45 minutes. Not fun.

*iphone GPS Can Suck: So, I'm still relying quite a bit on the iphone GPS application. I would say that 85% of the time it is golden. However, three days out of Beaver Dam, I was heading down a pretty steep hill when I spotted a beautiful pond towards the bottom. I counted myself lucky because I was totally off the established trail and my iphone had found something beautiful and unexpected. And then I realized that the pond was actually water that had completely flooded the road. I immediately hit the breaks and missed a dunk in the water by a couple of feet.

*Solitude is Awesome: Stopping to take a sip of water and partake in yet another Trail Mix bar I looked around and realized that I was completely alone. The road I was on was particularly deserted and I hadn't seen a car or a house in over half an hour. I put my bike near a tree and took my sunglasses off. With a smile on my face I yelled at the top of my lungs for a good 10 seconds. Solitude can sometimes be the most amazing thing in the world.

WISH YOU WERE HERE

Crossing the Ohio River into Illinois:

[VIDEO TO FOLLOW LATER TODAY]

PHOTO ROLL

Lessons Learned (2): Blogging Helps

2009-05-23T15:53:00.003-04:00

Here's a bit of a confession: I've never really seen myself as a blogger. Not really.

When I first started Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity (AVS) I saw this whole endeavor as a way to organize my thoughts and challenge myself to embrace a path that was, ultimately, inevitable. The process was solitary by design. The back and forth interaction between author and commenter and that strange, yet infectious camaraderie that thrives between fellow bloggers were always secondary to the main event: learning to live a more simple, purpose-driven life.

A year later I can't help but see things a little differently. In all the ways that matter, the collective experience of literally hundreds of people has actually guided some of the most important decisions highlighted on this blog. More importantly, I have been genuinely inspired by other bloggers, some of whom I have met personally and now call friends.

And isn't that the whole point? I've always been uncomfortable seeing myself as a blogger precisely because the term has always felt sterile and antiseptic to me. I scoff at others who seem to live their lives through online interactions, always looking to increase their blog hit count, press for more and more comments and otherwise derive a great deal of their self-worth from their life online. I have come to value blogging because I've been able to transform my online interactions into real-world relationships and because I have been flexible enough to be challenged by others who might actually know more about life than I think I do.

THE ANTI-BLOG
If this blog has been successful it is because it operates as the “anti-blog.” I don't really give a shit how many hits I get. I don't really care how many people comment on it. I continue to avoid the press and have no desire to market the blog beyond the four corners of Blogger. And through it all, I have followed two cardinal rules: (1) blog ONLY when there is something meaningful to say (hence my 7-8 posts per month), and (2) be brutally honest.

But, as much as I might see this as the “anti-blog,” it is the interaction with my readers that has often made all the difference.

Birchleaf, VA to Beaver Dam, KY: Biking Meditation and Expecting the Unexpected

2009-05-17T16:15:00.016-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 13=21.87; Day 14=REST; Day 15=56.99; Day 16=43.95; Day 17=76.47; Day 18=39.42; Day 19=67.12; Day 20=74.93

Total So Far: 920.98

Inspiration: Taking my headphones off and listening to the sounds of the road; Rescue Me; Chopin (various); John Coltraine (mostly A Love Supreme); The Wire; The Howard Stern Show; Led Zeppelin

Spirits: Exalted; inspired; strong; strategic; spiritual; joyful

Things Seen On the Road: Hundreds of caterpillars crossing the road; tons more roadkill; several Amish horse and buggy caravans; a goat staring at my bike; dozens more dogs wanting to tear me to shreds.

Favorite Quotes: (1) heading to Beaver Dam, KY, sign on R 62: “Beaver Dam: 42 miles;” similar sign just 5 miles later: “Beaver Dam: 51 miles”; (2) heading to Berea, KY, a sign pointing to “Knob Lick Baptist Church.”

There are things happening inside of me. Strange, lovely, unexpected things. I don't think I've developed an adequate way to articulate what this all means. Maybe I need some distance from the road and all it's allures before I can connect the dots completely. What I do know is that things are changing inside in a very fundamental way.

This is actually rather surprising to me. I never wanted to personify that awful stereotype of the earnest traveler in search of inner meaning. And yet, meaning is precisely what I'm finding on the road. I found meaning in the coal that literally protruded from the ground by the side of the road in Eastern Kentucky. I found meaning in the laundromat I used at a low-income housing project in Elkhorn City, KY. I even found meaning floating inside a bottle of beer an elderly farmer bought me in Western Virginia.

If there is one thing I've learned from just three weeks of riding it is that there is meaning everywhere.

BIKING MEDITATION
I've been meditating while riding. Seriously. While I am almost certain I am not the first one to have done so, the experience is definitely unique. I usually find a stretch of road with little to no traffic. I put my head down low and angle the bike along the white line demarcating the shoulder. I then focus my eyes on the moving road in front of me. Suddenly, everything recedes and it is just me, the road and the sound of my breath. I enter such a state of mindfulness that I automatically react to the sounds of traffic behind me without breaking my concentration. I'm convinced I conserve more energy and have a more enjoyable ride every time I do this. Has anyone done/felt something similar when they ride?

TRIP SO FAR
I don't think it's possible to capture the essence of this trip in a blog post. It's just not possible. Every day is different. There is no such thing as a routine day. The one constant is that anything can happen, at any time, at any place, for any reason. That is what I've come to love about this trip. I expect the unexpected on a daily basis.

Here is a pretty short snapshot of what's been going on:

*Music in Berea: After getting to Berea, KY, my warmshowers.org hosts, Rose and Eagle, invited me to a Jazz-Latin music concert at the local college. It's a strange feeling to find yourself enjoying some pretty cool music in an audience of people when you have just biked 70 miles earlier that afternoon.

*Shortcut Gone Wrong: A couple of days from Berea, I decided to take a shortcut my iphone GPS suggested. Big mistake. Half-way through, I ended up staring at a couple of trees that had cut off the road. The alternative wasn't much better. I had to go through a pretty steep side road full of gravel that had been built for coal trucks. I didn't have to deal with too many trucks but the road grade was so awful that I had to stop every 50 feet just to catch my breath.

*Meeting the Goat: I was trying desperately to catch my breath after taking a good 25 minutes to climb a particularly difficult hill. I looked to my right and saw the door to a modest one-level house open very slowly. And a goat came out. That's right, a goat. He just stared at me while I caught I breath for about two minutes. I'm pretty sure there wasn't a soul around for miles. Methinks there is a vibrant community of goats somewhere in the hills of Western Kentucky that has so far gone unnoticed.

*First Mechanical Disaster: I was heading out from Birchleaf, VA to Breaks, VA one Saturday morning and was in a real hurry. I had arranged to have some mail delivered to the Breaks post office and since it was a Saturday, I needed to be there between 9:30 am and 11:00 am. Leaving Breaks state park I entered a pretty sweet downhill. Within 5 minutes I saw a sign for Breaks and waited to see the town itself. About 2 minutes later and going about 30-35 mph I realized that I had overshot my destination somehow and had to stop. I was pretty pissed with myself because now I had to bike uphill for a mile and a half. I turned my bike around and just as I got on it, I heard a loud clang...I looked down and realized my chain had fallen off the bike. It was about 9:45 am at this point. Let me tell you, there is nothing like walking a heavy bike up a hill for almost 40 minutes, under time constraints, in the middle of a thunderstorm. But hey, I did eventually find the town, picked up my mail and fixed the chain.

WISH YOU WERE HERE
Coal trucks passing me on the road:

The beauty of Western Kentucky:

Dealing with the constant thunderstorms:

PHOTO ROLL

Vesuvius, VA to Birchleaf, VA: Conflicting Emotions and Coming Home

2009-05-10T12:10:00.015-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 7=23.39; Day 8= REST; Day 9= 81.75; Day 10= 52.75; Day 11= 51:54; Day 12=52.69.

Total So Far: 540.23

Inspiration: This American Life (NPR); The Howard Stern Show; The Beatles; The Wire; Wilco; Eminem; Billy Holiday.

Spirits: Exasperated; tired; calculated; exhausted; comfortable.

Things Seen On the Road: A huge mountain waterfall; two majestic valleys on the Appalachians; half a dozen dogs ready to eat me.

Favorite Quotes: (1) written on the inside of a bathroom door somewhere on Route 11: “Kill all rednecks;” response right below: “fuck you nigger.” Charming; (2) owner of a diner in southeastern Virginia as I came in from the rain: “you look like a wet rat! Do you need a place to stay?”

STATUS
This week has been a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. There have been times when the thought of getting on that bike has made me dizzy. More than once, I muttered a couple of “fucks” under my breath as yet another hill emerged from right around the bend. I have stunk. I have gone to bed without showering. I have been caught in massive downpours, thunderstorms, and threats of tornadoes. I have been chased by ravenous dogs hoping to tear me to shreds. I have found myself in the pitch black of the night trying to figure out where to sleep for the night.

And yet...I have never been more alive in my life! There have been moments when the clouds have parted and the sun has illuminated some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. There have been nights when the sounds of crickets right outside my tent has lulled me to sleep. More often than not, the kindness of strangers has been on display throughout. And the stars...let's just say that you had to be there.

THE TRIP SO FAR
The terrain is changing and so are the people I am meeting. During those early days back in Eastern Virginia, both sides of the road were filled with spacious farms with meticulously manicured lawns as far as the eye could see. For the most part, the people I encountered were clearly middle to upper-middle class folk. I am now seeing a lot more trailers, more abandoned farm equipment and a whole lot more “Bankruptcy,” “Auction Sale,” and “Abandoned” signs right off the road. It is clear that this international recession/depression is hitting these areas hard. Or maybe what I am seeing is long-standing economic dislocation. That is, indeed, a depressing thought.

And yet...I feel more at home here than back East. It's not just that people are friendlier. There is a lack of pretension that is absolutely contagious. Many people here live simplicity every day. Some because they have no choice. Others because that is all they know. What binds them all together is that, come what may, they will always strive to work hard, raise strong families, go to church and love their country. And they are not ashamed about any of it.

Is it wrong to wish you had been born in Southwest Virginia?

WISH YOU WERE HERE

This Pitt Bull chased me across oncoming traffic on Route 11 just to try to eat me:

Huddling under a tarp in the middle of a thunderstorm at about 2,400 feet:

Just a little taste of what I've been seeing as I bike every day:

Dancing at a diner somewhere on Route 80. This bluegrass band was fantastic. I will spare you photos of me dancing some Texas two-step with some wonderful dames.

PHOTO ROLL

Colin and Becca with one of their kids. These guys opened up their home to me in Christianburg and were wonderful. Thanks guys.

With Kayla and Christy. They arranged for me to stay in a trailer behind a diner to ride out some pretty intense thunderstorms and a couple of unconfirmed tornadoes. I just feel bad because I repaid them by trying to dance to bluegrass music. Excuse the developing farmer tan.

Scenery

Speaking of thunderstorms, flash floods and tornadoes:

Lessons Learned (1): Giving Away Money is Complicated

2009-05-07T19:15:00.004-04:00

[Seeing as next month is the one-year anniversary of Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity I thought I would share with you certain “lessons” I have learned regarding this peculiar, yet rewarding endeavor called blogging. I want to distinguish this exercise from something else that is in the works: an attempt to articulate what I have learned since I decided to embrace voluntary simplicity/simple living. I'll work on the latter as I continue my trip across America.]

While I am still blown away by the response this blog continues to generate, nothing quite prepared me for the response to my Let's Start a Revolution!!!!!!!! post. To recap, at some point last year I finalized a pretty conservative budget going forward, taking into account all the obvious contingencies. I then realized that I had some cash left over. I didn't feel right keeping it. I also didn't feel right expanding my budget. Ultimately, I decided that the thing to do was to give it away. And so I did. That's when the fun/insanity/surprises started.

RESPONSE
The first thing I noticed was the incredible response from many readers who absolutely “got” the post. Many suggested that I send donations to particular charities and causes and though I had distributed most of the cash by the time I blogged about it, I did take certain suggestions to heart. Many others commented or emailed me directly about similar efforts here in the U.S., and as far away as the U.K. and Australia.

Then came a small flood of emails asking for financial assistance. This was the most difficult, unintended consequence of this post. Telling absolute strangers that I couldn't send them any money, even though they clearly NEEDED assistance for their very survival, was the hardest thing I ever did in connection with this blog.

And when the media got wind of the post things got a little weird. A couple of hundred emails, comments, and press mentions later the message underlying the post became superfluous. Suddenly, and depending on the audience, Jack became the asshole hippy; the savior of the legal profession; the life-coach guru; the confused rich lawyer in need of assuaging some deep-seeded guilt; the guy know had figured “it” out, and on and on and on...

LESSON LEARNED

What this post taught me is that most people, most of the time, see only what they want to see. It is hard (or inconvenient?) to dig deeper to uncover the essence of a person, let alone a blog post.

All I can tell you is that I am a person who now has enough money to live on for the rest of his life. It might not be much to a lot of people. It is probably a small fortune to many others. But it is enough for me. And that is what is important.

I will leave you with an excerpt of an email I got from an immigrant bus driver who tracked me down after he found one of my envelopes in his bus:

“...I thank you from the bottom of [sic] heart. The day I saw you I was so sad about my job, my family and my life. When I saw the money I smiled and knew that there was [sic] good people in the world. I will always remember it...”

P.S.
I always intended to put together a video capturing this renegade money giveaway, much as I did when I burned my law degree, but I never really had the time. Plus, with youtube silencing any videos set to music it felt a little pointless to bother with any real editing. It's not the same, but here's some raw footage of me traveling to NYC, Boston and Philly as I dropped off some envelopes.

Take care everyone,

Jack

Charles City, VA to Vesuvius, VA: Instinct Has Taken Over

2009-05-03T15:17:00.015-04:00

Miles Per Day: Day 2=55.07; Day 3=40.64; Day 4=39.27; Day 5=30.54; Day 6=33.01

Total So Far: 238.32

Inspiration: Lynard Skynard; Oasis; Guns n' Roses; Bach (Goldberg Variations by Glenn Gould); The Howard Stern Show; Rescue Me; Life of Pi;

Spirits: Excited; exhausted; adventurous; determined.

Things Seen On the Road: The inside of a fire station; tons of roadkill (including a Golden Retriever); Blue Ridge Mountains; a snake crossing the road;

Favorite Quotes: (1) on a scenic overlook right on the Blue Ridge Parkway, guy in a parked car talking to his buddy: “[inaudible]...so I always thought I could trust him; I just never though he would go and fuck my girlfriend...” (2) manager of Vesuvius general store, after I asked about church services the following day, Sunday: “They usually start at 9:00am. Now, are you Baptist or Methodist?”

I've just finished what was probably the best BBQ pork sandwich I've ever had in my life, courtesy of Gertie's Store in Vesuvius, VA. My mind is still spinning from all the crazy curves on the road, the intense climbing I did today over the Blue Ridge Mountains, the roller coaster 4 mile downhill drop from the Blue Ridge Parkway to Vesuvius (ever done 45 miles on a bike down a windy, curvy country road?), and some of the most beautiful views this side of the Mississippi.

I'm not sure any of this has sunk in yet. It's like my mind has receded inside itself and is working furiously to process everything. Instinct has taken over. It's the 5 year-old Jack that gets up every morning and straddles that bicycle with a child-like fury. He's also the one that relishes not knowing where we will be sleeping every night. And he's the one that's always certain everything, somehow, will turn out alright.

Here's a little taste of what was seen on the road recently:

WISH YOU WERE HERE

Caressing horses on my way to Charlottesville, VA

Cooking up some lunch behind an abandoned post office in Afton, VA

Crossing the Blue Ridge Mountains

PHOTO ROLL
On my way to Charlottesville

Administrator of First Baptist Church in Charlottesville. He was nice enough to let me camp on church grounds. Ultimately, though, chose a hostel so that I could clean some clothes and shower.

On my way to Afton

Crossing the Blue Ridge Mountains

This trip is just getting started. That's the most amazing thing of all.

Take care everyone.

Yorktown, VA to Charles City, VA: First Day and Understanding Kindness

2009-04-28T12:31:00.006-04:00

Miles: 39.79
Inspiration: Metallica; Music from the Hearts of Space (NPR); This American Life (NPR)
Spirits: Excited; Relaxed
Seen on the road: Two vultures devouring a dead deer; turtle crossing the road

This morning I awoke to a sunrise like no other. I can't quite remember the last time I saw a sunrise, let alone one that tossed sparkling shades and hues over a clear, calm ocean. The things you start to notice when you don't have to make it to the office for those early morning conference calls:

After a quick shower and some improvised packing, I rolled my bike downstairs to check out of the hotel. That's where I met up with Catherine Sayle, a regular reader who graciously kept me company as I pushed my rig across the sand and dipped my tires onto the surf.

Catherine and I chatted for a bit, said our goodbyes and suddenly it was just me and the road.

Now, as someone who has never toured before I can honestly say that today was a total breeze. The weather turned hot pretty quickly, but I had done most of my riding by the time it got uncomfortable. It also helped that somewhere north of Jamestown, I met up with Sean, another bike tourist with his eye on St. Louis:

We chatted most of the rest of the way to Charles City where we parted ways. I'm hopeful I can meet up with him somewhere ahead.

The biggest realization so far on this trip is how much I have to learn about human kindness. Seriously. This is the kind of trip where a person is forced to rely on the kindness of strangers, where my safety and very survival is tied to how the “Other” perceives you as a person.

Case in point, yesterday afternoon I started to feel pretty uncomfortable because I just didn't know where I was going to be staying in Charles City. Desperate, I did a quick google map of the city and found a couple of churches in the area. Out of the blue, I called a Baptist church on Route 5 and explained that I was going to be coming in on a bike and that it would be fantastic if they could allow me to pitch a tent on their grounds. Without missing a beat, they said I could absolutely stay. And when I got to Charles City I entered a Citgo convenience store and mentioned that I was hoping to camp in the area. The owner immediately offered me the grass in the back of the store and a restroom in the back. This is precisely where I am currently writing this blog entry:

Now, I know that for some of you the fact that people have the grace and decency to be kind to a complete stranger is not a revelation. But as a recovering law firm lawyer with a history of being a materialistic, consumerist, elitist asshole, this was nothing short of that: a revelation. Getting off the phone with that Baptist pastor yesterday I got a bit choked up. I won't deny it. There was something so essential, so beautiful, so perfectly HUMAN, about a person doing something nice for someone else...it made me want to capture that moment, bottle it up and spread it every which way. Maybe that's what I will end up doing with the rest of my life in one way or another.

Communicating on the Road

2009-04-26T21:13:00.003-04:00

In between moving boxes and planning this upcoming bike trip I actually signed up for Twitter. I'm hoping this will facilitate communication on and off the road and let everyone know what's going on with me in real time. FYI, my profile is “radicaljack.” Here is the link.

Also, note that I'm already on Facebook in case you want to add me as a friend.

Have a great week everyone.

Decision Time

2009-04-24T21:11:00.003-04:00

After much soul searching I've decided to go ahead and start this bike trip after all. My ankle/leg is feeling much better and after riding over 60 miles during the past 36 hours I feel strong enough to get out on the road. I'll probably start super slow (20-30 miles a day) and try to extend it up to 50 miles a day by the second or third week.

Whether I make it to the Pacific is irrelevant at this point. What is important is that I am getting on that bike and trying my very best to get there. And if my very best turns out to be insufficient, I will just have to reach inside myself and find another way.

All I Have in the World

2009-04-20T17:36:00.005-04:00

After all the pondering, all the planning, all the craigslist sales, and all the Salvation Army donations it came down to one single photo. Aside from (1) the stuff itemized in my bike trip post and (2) some coats and jackets I have to pick up from the local dry cleaners on Friday, this picture captures EVERY SINGLE THING I OWN IN THE WORLD:

Cool huh? :) What really gets me is that about half of what you are seeing consists of books and mementos (photos, letters, etc…).
For those of you who have followed this de-cluttering process, here’s where I came out on certain issues:

Furniture: sold most of everything I had and donated the rest. I kept certain things that I will be giving to family members later on this year (they can’t quite make it to DC just yet).

Clothing/linens: gave away 12 (that’s right, 12!) bags of clothing, linens, towels, etc…I still have a couple of bags to drop off this weekend.

Books: gave away approximately 80% of all the books I had. The criteria was simple: keep only those books that you consider to be small treasures. The rest can be shared with the world.

What about you, my dear reader? Are you thinking about doing something similar? If you have already started, what stage are you in the process? If you have completed the process, any advice on what to expect going forward?