Sunday, July 5, 2009

Reflections (2): The FUCK post


After leaving a highly-paid job, giving away money I don't really need, and selling/donating most of my worldly possessions, I have come to a place in my life where meaningful clarity is attainable. I still have a long way to go but as of now there are certain things that are crystal clear:

FUCK people who claim to garner even an ounce of happiness from purchasing yet another “thing” they don't really need, EVEN AS they head out to a job they actively despise JUST SO that they can have the cash (or credit?) to purchase that very “thing” in the first place.

FUCK business suits, conference calls, billable hours, and making partner.

FUCK people who measure their self-worth by the size of their house, the make of their car, how far they have climbed the corporate ladder, the schools they attended, the restaurants they frequent and/or the people “they know.” These poor, insecure assholes are living in a dreamworld with shaky foundations, their lives ever-dependent on how they measure up against every other poor, insecure asshole in their sad little world of pretentious make-believe.

FUCK having 2 weeks of vacation a year.

FUCK the adrenaline rush you get when you answer a partner's question at 11:00 pm via Blackberry.

FUCK people who can't wait to tell you how late they worked the night before.

FUCK money. Seriously.

FUCK chicks that are suddenly more open to banging you once they realize you have money.

FUCK dudes who are suddenly more respectful when they realize that you attended Harvard Law School.

FUCK office politics, gossipy associates and awkward conversations with senior partners at firm functions.

FUCK having a house so large that you are forced to hire a cleaning person. If you think about it, you are pretty much FUCKED because you don't have the time to clean the place yourself BECAUSE you are working 80 hours a week in order to afford that large house in the first place.

FUCK that horrible feeling you get on Sunday when you know that you have to start all that office bullshit again on Monday.

FUCK that horrible feeling you get on Saturday when you know you have to work on Sunday.



FUCK me for having taken so long to figure it all out.


[Reflections introductory post]

60 comments:

Heather's Moving Castle said...

Well, hell!!! I think you covered it all. lol. Glad you pulled your head out of your ass. Hope your knees are better and you're having a hell of a time. We just covered the NW quadrant of the U.S. Hope the weather is being kind to you.

Balance said...

Yupp! Fuck you! :) It must be very nice to have ended up at the end of the fuck you-list. :) I am in the middle of my own list and finds it difficult to finally get to the last point. I am trying to get pregnant - alone - by insemination and its difficult to figure out how much I should get rid of. I'm kind of in a nesting mood. I really admire people like you who just go out and do something about the situation. One day I hopefully will be there to. :) In the meantime - I'm quite happy that you didn't figure it out before because if it weren't for facebook I might not have found your blog.

MoneyFunk said...

Love the post. Sounds like the "fuck you" personality I read about when you started the blog. :)

Love it!

Patty said...

Well.....that about sums it up. Direct & to the point. I agree 110%. All that really matters in life is outside of the corperate scope. Great post. Thank You.

Jonna (aka mom) said...

Yep. You're figuring it out, the meaning of life. I'm happy for you that you are young enough to embrace the benefits of it. If we wait until we are old, it only comes out in the form of regrets.
Have a great day, Jack.

Anonymous said...

I do always love your posts, Jack. And I love that you feel like you are getting in touch with what it is that you feel is important.

But I still do love my house and cleaning lady. And working long hours.

But you don't, and it's good that figured that out!

fatstupidamerican said...

"FUCK the culture of professionalism. A generic culture that is reminiscent of the class of nobility, a culuture that tries to infect your personal life. A culture that demand you dress, and act in manner in order for you to take seriously as a human."

Elizabeth said...

I'm glad you learned/are learning what is important to you.

But -- just remember that what is important is different for everyone. And -- just because someone does measure their self-worth by some of the things you listed does not mean that they deserve a "fuck you". That may be all they know. They may not be strong enough to break that cycle. ..

My dream world still includes house cleaning services though. I just don't love spending my time cleaning. ;)

emily said...

what about "fuck feeling angry about the windy paths we take"
and
"fuck not being omniscient and knowing the significance of every other person's paths" ?

How about a little "hell ya for the mysteries in life" and
"hell ya for the ability to learn to see our own weaknesses, to grow and to cultivate compassion for ourselves and those around us".

I love your blog, but very often I have been filled with sadness while reading some of your posts. Congrats on the evolution of Jack. Sending compassion and acceptance from SLC.
~

Jack said...

@Heather,

Thanks. Knees are doing better. Just needed to take it easy more. Hope your trip was awesome.

@balance,

Here's wishing you luck figuring it out. Not easy doing this stuff alone, specially with some of the big decisions coming your way.

@MoneyFunk,

Having a "fuck you" personality has it's place every now and then

Jack said...

@Patty,

Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.

@Jonna,

Thanks again. Wouldn't exactly call it the meaning of life, but it certainly helps figure out what that might be.

@Anonymous,

And that's the beauty of voluntary simplicity/simple living. It means different things to different people. Just happy that you know what makes you happy.

Anonymous said...

I think it's great that you're learning what does and doesn't matter to you--and like the other Anonymous and Elizabeth, I hope that you'll come to accept that other people can, will, and are as entitled to make their choices as you are to make yours.

Or, put another way, FUCK thinking that one person has all the answers.

Julia said...

It sounds like you are achieving clarity about what's no longer important to you. I'd love to see a post about the goals, values, etc. that replaced your old ones. I'm so fascinated by the process you are going through.

I keep wondering if your "old" way of life feels long ago and distant now, or is it still fresh on your memory?

Jack said...

@fatstupidamerican,

Can relate. Who wrote that?

@Elizabeth,

See my response to anonymous above. All good points.

I would, though, extend a hearty "fuck you" to someone who doesn't have the courage to break that cycle if they are pretentious enough to look down on others. Often a mark of a weak heart.

@Emily,

You might find some of those sentiments in other (and possibly future) posts. Not this one. This one was just right.

Will said...

sounds like the script to Fight Club.

David said...

I'm pretty sure what guys and girls can say "fuck you" about are at somewhat of a wide variance.

Especially anything having to do with housework or child-rearing.

FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com said...

I agree. Maybe some people just feel good knowing that they have a high net worth or whatever

My bro does for sure LOL.. but i'm glad I learned early on what matters in life to me and not what I think should matter.

Jack said...

@Anonymous,

Please see my responses to Anonymous and Elizabeth. That's a very good point, with my stated qualifications.

@Julia,

Don't worry, there are plenty of Reflections coming, some that delve into these issues. And to answer your question, I think it depends on the day. Sometimes, it feels like a bad dream. At other times, it feels very recent.

Jack said...

@Will,

Good catch. Didn't even think about that.

@David,

I think that's true, though I'm a little unclear how that relates to the post. Are you referring to the fact that women might or might not like housework and/or childrearing vs. men? Do comment again.

@FB,

I thank you for dissecting this issue in just one sentence. The fact is that people get taken in by what they think they should place value on, as opposed to establishing what they actually value most.

SF Kid said...

Hey, Jack. Now that all this stuff is behind you, why are you still so secretive and anonymous. Why not use your full name (or real name)here and on FB? It's not like you're going back to work at the firm you left - or any one like it.

fatstupidamerican said...

I did the Fat Stupid American. I have a blog up and minimalism is one of the things I blog about, while searching for other minimalism blogs I found yours so here I am.

Debbi said...

First of all, fuckin' A! I couldn't have said it better.

Secondly, to follow up on SF Kid's thought, why not come out of the closet? What do you have to be scared of at this point? Why should you care what any of those assholes from your former life think of you, anyway?

I will end with a quote from one of my other favorite bloggers, The Irreverent Freelancer - http://irreverentfreelancer.blogspot.com/: "If you stand up for something under the guise of anonymity, you're really not standing up for anything at all."

Just something to think on . . .

Michelle said...

THAT was good to read Jack! I also agree that we all have our own definition of simplicity and when we can embrace it without shutting out other peoples ideas...well, that's a little slice of Nirvana right there..

microwave said...

This is my favorite: "FUCK having 2 weeks of vacation a year."

breathethenexhale said...

Good for you Jack!

I dont think I mentioned this before but Im a legal assistant for a partner in a law firm... so I can totally relate to EVERYTHING you have to say on this subject!

Jolyn said...

But how do you REALLY feel? heh-heh...

Avatar said...

Hey, Jack!

I have always been hoping freedom. The freedom to do what I will to do. Sometimes, in my thoughts, I have escaped. But I have always (in my thoughts) returned back. Because if I schould go away, I schoud lose a lot, the family, which is important to me. I schould miss them. I schould be unhappy.

If I lived alone. I did not need to escape. I could then do what I want.

I congratulate you, Jack, if you don't have a family of your own. You are free to make solutions!

(but how do you get money to live?)

- sorry, it's difficult to me to think in English, don't care the mistakes. :)

I'v tried to send this many times, but it doesn't manage. Once more!

kate said...

fuckin amen brother . . . life is hilarious isn't it??? :)

Linda said...

"FUCK chicks that are suddenly more open to banging you once they realize you have money."

I once made an experiment. When I was at a posh bar or club, and guys would ask me what I did for a living, I said: "Waitress" or "Rich bitch". Guess what? The waitress-me was not so popular...

And speaking of guys in posh bars:

FUCK guys who just want you for your looks, and leaves when they realize that you're smart and funny too! Like I (=a woman) can't be pretty AND a thinking person at the same time!

I'm convinced that this is just the starting ground for your new life, and new you. Good work! Hope your knees are better. And, as always, take care!

Jack said...

@SF,

Been thinking about that more and more. Need to evaluate it in due time.

@Fatstupidamerican,

Sweet. Will have to check it out.

@Debbi,

See my response to SF. Will figure it out at some point.

Jack said...

@Michelle,

That's definitely a good point.

@Microwave,

Believe it or not, it was one of the first thing I wrote.

@Breathethenexhale,

I can only imagine. Hope it's at least a good place to work.

Jack said...

@Jolyn,

:)

@Avatar,

[no worries, looks like you were posting multiple comments when you didn't realize comment moderation was on]

Thanks for the kind words. What's really amazing is that even if I had a family I could still see myself feeling and believing everything on this post. It would just be a matter of reoganizing priorities and making it all work. See links on the blog; plenty of families off on adventures, both geographic as well internal.

@Kate,

Absolutely.

Jade of the Jungle said...

Been a while since I said hello but this post made me laugh, for obvious reasons...

Glad to see the Road FROM Perdition is going well and it sounds like you're having the time of your life - yay!

As for your last point, don't be too hard on yourself. I reckon you can't truly appreciate the good until you've fully experienced the bad. Case in point: I spent today getting mucky at a cermics class, the awesomeness of it compounded by remembering my Mondays of yore: attending pointless meetings, drafting tedious contracts, being nice to fuckwit clients and wishing I were doing other things with my life...like going to ceramics classes.

x

Susanne said...

You're angry! It's not worth it. Be happy you're not doing that anymore.

And ofcourse you're right. But that's not important.

The rest will follow or not. Maybe people will finally stop to make these strange choices.

But it's stille their choice.

Grtz,



Susanne

Bon vivant said...

Yes, you've figured it out. Men are stuck on looks (of the women) until they evolve, and some never do so. Women are stuck on security (read: money) until they evolve, and some never do so. I'm down to a floor lamp, a 400 CD changer and computer desk. All of which I'll gift next month. Can't wait to be on the road again!

Amicalement!

Kady said...

"FUCK people who can't wait to tell you how late they worked the night before."

LOL! You must have been a lawyer!

Jack said...

@Linda,

Always appreciate your comments. Thank you. And I would totally add your Fuck suggestion if I was the right gender:)

@Jade,

Good to hear from you. I know that some of this stuff should strike home for you as well. And ceramics classes is definitely up my alley. Don't be a stranger. Are you on Gmail or Skype video?

@Susanne,

I think being angry, with distance is always a good, valid way of dealing with things, particularly when you come to certain conclusions. And yes, people have a perogative to change or not to.

Jade of the Jungle said...

Am on Skype. First name underscore surname.

Anonymous said...

Freaking Ditto !!!!

Anonymous said...

I did the "Fuck IT!" Thing 15 years ago...And W O W life couldn't be any better!! I do what i want to do on my time...and yes i have my own family too to look after but with balance! I have all the certificate's that one is told they need to get through life..What a superficial way that is... You are on the road and starting to open up to the higher powers that are available and what you really are!! Enjoy the ride Jack...It really is L I F E !!!) .J.

Vicki said...

Jack, I just found your blog today and have been reading through some posts and am now madly in love with you. I look forward to reading along with your journey.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
Dr. Seuss

Jack said...

@Bon Vivant,

Good way to summarize it. Where are you thinking of heading to?

@Kady,

No joke :)

@Jade,

Sweet. The only issue now is trying to find you online at the same time. I'll make it happen soon.

Jack said...

@Anonymous,

Nice...

@J

Glad you totally get it. It's that balance I am seeking from now on. I guess I am envious.

@Vicki,

Thanks for the kudos. Nice to hear you enjoy the blog. Don't be a stranger.

Megan said...

Preach it!

Cage Free Family said...

xoxo

Hope you come bt and see us on your way back...

Paul G. said...

Dude! That's exactly it... you're bang on the money! I'm just writing a blog on 'less is more' at the moment and I found this while looking for inspiration on it.

Susanne said...

Dear Jack,

I've been thinking about your fuck you post and I have a question. I totally understand the fuck you thoughts. It's a great choice you made and I wish more people would realize that a simple life is a blessing for the earth and its societies. Simplicity is all about not wanting more and more. There are more options that lead to simplicity. You stepped out of society a little bit. Obviously there are things you don't like about society. My question for you is: if you are ever to end this new lifestyle would it be an option for you to join in again? I mean: to try to make some changes from within? Ofcourse you have influence because lots of people read this blog. But these are people that are already open for your thoughts and ideas. For example: to take a job that is perhaps less challengeing and less paid, but gives you the opportunity to influence people who perhaps don't think about these things because they haven't had the opportunities you had.

What are you thoughts about that?

Grtz,



Susanne

lvnv4me said...

Agreeing with the others here, I would add...

F*** living your life based upon society's expectations. Find what makes your heart rejoice and follow that no matter what it is.

BUT, isn’t it time for you to get rid of the bitterness and start the transition to...

Halleluiah for being healthy and strong of body with only minor aches and pains.

Halleluiah for having the strength and fortitude to do what I want to do no matter what that is.

Halleluiah for making me an a**hole for all those years in my life when I needed to amass the money and mindset necessary for what I am doing right now. For without that attitude I too might be married with five kids, the mortgage, and still dreaming about doing what I am privileged to be living.

Halleluiah for the ability to make enough money before I reached my “ah ha” moment to enable me to share the wealth and do what I want, when I figured out what that was.

God bless you as you continue your journey. You are very fortunate in many ways and it is nice to see someone’s personal growth put them on the road to making them so happy in life.

Jack said...

@Megan,

Glad you liked it.

@Cage Free,

Absolutely. Just let me know where you will be. Or are you staying put for a while?

@Paul,

Thanks for the kudos. Nice to have more people at the party.

Jessica said...

Sometimes, well often, only a word like that will do. And often, quite often, that is a word I will choose. Just discovered your blog via Purest Green and I look forward to your archives. I'm always surprised (but not as interested) in those who fail to act. Feeling the limb bend under your weight (of even the most solid of timber) should incite some movement.

Sara said...

FUCK YEAH!

Jack said...

@Susanne,

That's a fantastic question. I'm just not sure how to answer it at this point. The truth is that I am not in a frame of mind to be a “simple living” advocate, beyond whatever it is this blog represents. I'm not even sure what I will be doing professionally going forward. Maybe it's something you should ask me once the trip is over and I've had to reassess everything.

@lvnv4me,

You have a point, though I think those sentiments are outside the contours of this post. If you read back you might catch glimpses of similar sentiments. But maybe a positive, inverted version of this post is required.

@Jessica,

Thanks for your comment. Always nice to hear from new readers. BTW, the Purestgreen blog always makes me so hungry...

Jack said...

@Sara,

No objections here.

Anonymous said...

BEST POST EVER!!!!

Helene said...

I don't have to "Follow along as a former highly-paid lawyer gives up a life of material comfort..." why should I? I've done this my whole adult life, and never had to write a dumb blog about it. While you're busy getting your rocks off by all the cool times you can use the word fuck, I hope you don't forget to grow up.

Jack said...

@Anonymous,

Thanks

@Helen,

Totally respect your point of you. However, I must say that I am amazed by anyone who would active post a comment on a blog they find "dumb." Tell me, is irony a concept that is, in any way, foreign to you?

Oh, and re: the use of the word "fuck"...in the hopes of not confusing you further by discussing (1) the concept of literary license; (2) the concept of speaking via methapor; and/or (3) the concept of emphasizing something for immediate effect...here's one just for you:

FUCK

mywriterkeeda said...

I wrote my own fuck post and was looking for a suitable pic and I came across your blog. Guess what! I was so glad to realize that I am not the only one in this situation. Keep living. I am yet to find guts to break away from family obligations and material necessities. Its a work in progress. Nice blog!

Patch said...

F*ck yeah!

Ozarks Nick said...

Beautiful, just beautiful!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I liked it a lot. Thank you.

A fan from Denmark