For years I struggled to find meaning in meaningless relationships. There were times when I was so numb inside that sleeping with as many women as possible was my only reason for living. At my worst, I surrendered myself to something much, much worse: utter loneliness. It was at those times that I prayed for someone, anyone to sleep in my bed. Just as long as I didn’t have to spend another night alone.
And then, suddenly, I found it.
I was walking down the street about a year ago when I saw Her. She was out shopping for Christmas presents with her mom and her sister. As soon as our eyes met my heart rate shot up uncontrollably and I actually had to catch my breath. I had become a romantic cliché.
At that point I really had no choice but to approach her AND her family. Definitely NOT my usual MO. I introduced myself and engaged in some banal banter with all three of them. Her mother was curious. Her sister hated me instantly. I didn’t care, so long as I was able to have Her near me.
In the end, I snagged an email address. After a week of emails and phone calls back and forth I earned my first date.
BUT ARE YOU A GOODMAN?
I still remember how nervous I was that night. I was more than nervous. I was terrified. But it turned out to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime conversations. We talked about family and friends, about our careers, and our life goals.
About half-way through dinner the conversation turned to simplicity. And I couldn’t control myself any longer. I had to tell her EVERYTHING.
She listened intently, interrupting me only to ask a relevant question or two.
“But are you a good man?” she asked eventually. I told her I was. She then kissed me. Deeply.
I was reborn that night. Apparently, redemption is attained through the grace of a good woman. Even for a wretch like me.
It has been a year since that first date. And my love for Her has deepened to a point where sometimes I don’t even know where I start and she begins.
I love this woman because she was made for me. And I was made for her.
I am in love.